#bsd mori angst

[darling--angst]

i’d like to request space song with dazai (specifically pm!dazai) hurt/comfort scenario,, reader comforting dazai during a breakdown or smth :(

Space Song

Pairing: Pm! Dazai x Fem! Reader(platonic)/Mori x 27! Reader

Type: Oneshot

Genre: Comfort/Fluff

Warnings: Long winded commas, Stormbringer spoilers/mentions, Dark Era mentions, Oda's death, mentions of war, mentions of Yosano's backstory, Mori being a bitch, slight yandere Mori mentions, kinda went off topic..

Synopsis: Dazai finally found someone who saw him for who he was and when his dearest friend died, he finds himself finding comfort in her embrace like a child being comforted by his mother.

A/n: Hey.. Please state if you want it to be romantic/platonic.. since you didn't say which one you want, I'll do the latter. Reader is implied to be 27 while Mori is 33. Reader is like a mother to Dazai. I kinda wrote this without thinking so I am so sorry.

Event // Pm. Masterlist // M.Masterlist

Dazai Osamu is the feared Demon Prodigy, the youngest underboss in the history of Port Mafia, the boss' right hand man, a genius; but deep down he was a child. A child misguided to do the wrong deeds, a lonely child used as a tool by others, a child who got affiliated with a mafioso at the age of fourteen, after an attempt in suicide. He was suicidal, a child at his age should be thinking of academics instead of how to end a war with another organization with the least casualties for his own gain. He could not see the purpose in living. Nobody saw him for who he was, it was never Osamu Dazai. Everything changed when he was fifteen, he met someone who gave him a reason to live for, someone who didn't judge him.

"sir, the boss has called you to his office" A black car stopped just beside of where he stood in the street.

"A mailman huh. I guess it really is important for Mori-san" he sighed, entering the back door of the car. It has almost been a year after Mori made him his 'witness' and succeeded as the Port Mafia boss.

The drive was silent, nobody said a word. The mailman was focused on driving and Dazai was looking out the window, observing people and their daily activities.

"We're here" The mailman said before the car stopped.

"mhm" He muttered opening and closing the door shut, and he drove away.

He was very familiar with the building. The five building-like-towers in the heart of Yokohama, the middle one being the tallest of all; where the Port Mafia boss, Mori Ogai lies. He reaches the highest floor and was eventually greeted by the guards, as he arrived he saw the boss and an unfamiliar woman sitting on the boss' desk, reading a document.

"Boss" He cleared his voice making his presence clear as the both of them talked.

"ah.. Dazai-kun" Mori shifted his attention from the woman to him.

"Sit down please" He offered while Dazai walked over to the small chair in the middle of the room. Mori made his his way towards another chair and sat down across him. She took documents on top of the desk after grabbing a brown, vintage briefcase. Making her way towards the door, Mori began explaining to Dazai. The only sound that feel the room was her heels clacking to the tiled floor until Mori finally spoke up.

"As you know Dazai-kun, the previous boss has returned.. based on the information you acquired from investigating Subarachi(?) city, it may have a lead on this 'Arahibaki' and by coincidence it seems that the Sheep King is looking for the so called God of Destruction" He explained.

"and?" He replied, clearly uninterested.

"He's suggesting that you work with Nakahara Chūya, if possible make him join the Mafia" She walked passed them, handing Dazai the documents she read earlier.

"Mhm, and you are?" Dazai asked before reading the documents. She continued to walk towards the door before Mori stopped her by ordering the guards from behind the door.

"Stay. (name)-sama" He smiled while she stopped in her tracks after hearing a pair of guards ruffle through the door.

"Haii.. what do you want now?" She let out a long, exasperated sigh. Ignoring her question, he explained to Dazai who she was.

"Dazai-kun, this is (name)-sama. She was strategist from the Great War" Sighing, she flopped down on a spare chair after he continued to explain about her to the young boy.

"So she knows about you killing the previous boss then?" He asked before glancing at her then to him.

"Yes. Now let's discuss this whole thing and why am I part of this?" She sat up, sending a glare at Mori.

"It was just as I explained earlier. The previous boss returned, Dazai-kun saw him personally so now that we have the Sheep King in our capture, we'll use that to our advantage by making him join the mafia." He gave both of them a closed-eye smile, Dazai put down the document and she gave him an annoyed look.

"That won't work" Both of them sighed in unison.

"Hm?"

"Chūya is too loyal to the Sheep. It's already given after all if he didn't, he would've left them to die long ago. After realizing his own potential, he would join an organization with a high pay; if he didn't have deep ties with them..—" She explained, sitting back down while Dazai listened to her.

"The only reason for him to join us for the Sheep's safety" He followed after hearing her explain.

"—It's not guaranteed he'll be loyal. If he joins the organization for their safety alone, there's a high chance he will destroy the mafia from the inside and save his little herd"

"Wait are you suggesting-?" Dazai's eyes widened realizing what she means.

"Yes.. We have to make them suspicious of him. If they notice they have been too dependent on him, they'll do any means to overthrow him and that's where we go in." She moved the white bishop on the chess board creating an opening for the rook, and continuing the abandoned game.

"After their betrayal, the Mafia comes in and will pretend to wipe out the Sheep. Chūya, after being betrayed will stay to protect them; so he will do a bargain to save them" Dazai moved the black knight, eating the bishop and now he was in advantage in terms of pieces.

"He'll then join the mafia in terms of the bargain" She then proceeded to move her rook from across the board, blocking the king's only path to escape, almost delivering a checkmate until Dazai's queen ate it to make the game a bit longer, but not to escape the inevitable fate.

"however-" Mori sighed but was cut off by her.

"since the main priority is to make sure the previous boss doesn't return so his supporters won't start a revolution.. you have to fix that first or else you'll get tortured, then executed" She glances at Mori before moving her rook to eat Dazai's queen, delivering a back-rank checkmate. Mori was in awe after watching his protegee and ex-lover play chess in sync, as if they were reading each other's minds.

"But won't you get executed too, (name)-san? I mean you knew of how the boss'really died, yet you didn't say anything.. making you, another accomplice" Dazai leaned into his chair, analyzing how he lost.

"I'm not part of the Mafia—" She nonchalantly responded.

"Yet." Mori's voice was full of demands.

"..tch. As I said, no." She stood up from her chair, giving Dazai a small smile before turning back to the door.

"Why?" This time he was more pushy for some reason.

"It's none of your business" She hissed before opening the door and leaving.

"Well isn't she beautiful.." He muttered under his breath while Dazai sat there with a fed up look on his face.

That was their first encounter. The second one was after both of them planned a strategy to defeat Verlaine. Even if Dazai didn't have any encounters with her that didn't involve work, he grew close to her. During their plannings, he was childish but she didn't mind. He felt comfortable with her, as if he could actually show his true self. She didn't try to exploit his intelligence, as she has one of her own, she tried to understand his view of the world, she sees through his emotions but she never used it to take advantage of him.

When she joined the mafia, her position was a strategist, even if she didn't engage in missions, she was valued by the Mafia because she was the one to pull the strings and by she was liked Mori personally. He had an interest in her that Dazai seemed to distinguish as love, one that he thought Mori was not capable off. All those who tried to assassinate her failed, because of Mori's interference and his predictions. Dazai didn't want her to die, not because of how important she was in the organization but because of his own personal reasons. He then became an executive at eighteen and met quite a few people, Sakunosuke Oda and Sakaguchi Ango, whom he calls his friends. Dazai finds himself looking for her again and again, wanting to see her, because of him, Oda, Ango and her became acquainted..

Oda and (name) was on a small talking about the orphans until Ango interrupted.

"I feel like I'm quite the third wheel here you know?"

"My, my.. I never knew you were sad that you were left out Ango-kun" She teased.

"Tch. I never knew you liked kids (name)-san" He tried to switch the topic.

"I feel neutral about them—I don't dislike them nor do I like them... I once met a child in the war, she was there as a nurse since her ability allowed her to heal soldiers... such a precious child—if I remember correctly, her name was Yosano" She faintly smiled at the memory.

"You took part in the war.?" Oda fiddled with his fingers.

"Mhm.. as a strategist..." She responded. Both of them stopped in their tracks before she turned around to face them.

"If she was in the healing section and you were a strategist, how did you meet her?" Ango asked, she halted and her eyes widened a bit before laying her head low.

"My ex-lover was a doctor, he was in charge of the nurses in the war including her. I ended our relationship because of how he treated that little girl and some other reasons... in the end, she was left traumatized.. I don't know what happened to her after it was over" She quietly muttered, remembering the bitter memories of the war.

"I see.. I'm sorry for asking-" He tried to apologize but was cut off but a faint voice screaming her name.

"Y/n-san!"

" hmm.? Dazai-" before she could say anything else, his body crashed with hers as he hugged her.

"I'm quite hurt that you didn't invite me you know!" He pouted before looking at both of them.

"Anyway! Why did you three look so glum-" He tried asking but he was cut off by his phone ringing.

"Oh. It's him. Oii slug what do you want?"

"What do you mean what do I want!? You suicidal waste of bandages! We have a mission remember?!" Chūya screamed through his phone while Dazai listened with a nonchalant expression.

"Yea, yea"

"YOU'RE PROBABLY WITH THAT STUPID STRATEGIST AND YOUR EQUALLY STUPID FRIENDS!" He insulted him while Dazai was quite taken aback. He gasped before he returned the screams.

"OI YOU SLUG! YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST JEALOUS THAT I HAVE FRIENDS AND A MOTHER FIGURE!!!" All of you were quite shocked but Dazai didn't even realize what he was saying.

"I DO HAVE FRIENDS! AND I HAVE ANE-SAN!"

"NO YOU DO NOT! YOU MAY HAVE A MOTHER FIGURE BUT ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE KILLED BY YOUR HOELESS BROTHER!" He screamed, ending the call before Chūya could repriocate what he said and kill him.

"sorry about that, slug was being extra annoying" he smiled but all of them were still processing what he said earlier

"Dazai.. do you see me as a mother figure.?" She asked, coughing. Her words didn't seem to process in his mind for a second or two.

"Of course not! I only said that to piss him off!" He tried explaining, even though his lie was clearly visible; she didn't bother to inquire any further, not wanting to be nosy.

"Now let's go drink I'm thirsty!" Dazai exclaimed, heading to Lupin while they followed.

That was the last time all of them drank. She was sent away because of an organization called the Mimic appeared, Mori kept her busy for a reason she couldn't hold a grasp on. Soon, Ango betrayed the mafia and Oda died. The reason why Mori kept her busy was so she cannot interfere and warn Dazai, now the Port Mafia has a special abilities permit with the cost of everything that mattered to Dazai. She only found out the last minute, and she hates that she can't do anything about it.

After hearing Oda's last words he was about to leave the abandoned mansion until he met her running. She saw Dazai, standing infront of the ballroom door with his head hung low; when she reached him, he collapsed to the floor into her arms. His head was on the crook of her neck, and her arms was around him, hugging him, slowly patting his head as he struggled to breath.

"Shh... It's okay I'm here" Her voice trembled knowing that the kids along with Oda are dead but she could only focus on the poor child in her arms.

"He's dead... Mori-san used the Mimic to get that black envelope and he-" He explained between hiccups.

"I know" She whispered but her voice cracked.

"What did Oda say.?" She patted his back trying to comfort him but his grip tightened on her.

"He wanted me to save people.. to find a value in life" He bit his lip.

"Then go.." She continued to comfort him but he left her embrace upon hearing her words.

"What.?"

"Don't worry about me.. one day you'll find your reason in living, and you would be happy that you listened to him" She smiled at him as he slowly got up.

"Then how about you?" He tried with every bit of strength he could find to convince her to go with him. She got up too, now facing him directly in the eyes she said:

"You're still young, you would be leaving an environment you are never supposed to be in. And I.. My soul is already bounded to the mafia, if I leave with you he'd do what it takes to get me back"

"But still I-"

"Mafiosos will be here soon... Go to Chief Taneda of the Special Division of the Unusual Powers in a small cheep bar, he'll help you. Don't hesitate to turn your back, go" She quickly explained grabbing him by the shoulders with a tenses expression. His lips parted but he didn't know what to say.

"Just go, I'll meet you again" She gave him a reassuring smiled. Upon seeing her eyes, he nodded.

"Thank you.." He quietly muttered before finally leaving.

A/n: Damn that was hard and cringe.. just so you know I kinda got distracted by music while doing this I apologize... For the person who requested this you can go to the comment section and say if you want me to redo it because I'll gladly do so :)

[xiaosonlybeloved]

Too Late~ Dazai Osamu

featuring:- PM!Dazai Osamu, gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned), Chuuya (briefly) warnings:- angst, hurt/no comfort, being hostage, mentions of torture in captivity, graphic mentions of blood and violence, major character death, lmk if i missed anything a/n:- im already sighing on looking at the warnings... it IS bsd i suppose.. well here's what im best at again, in a new fandom, so have some angst that is VERY late set some time before Odasaku's death

wc:- 2.5k || masterlist

Not many people knew what it was like to have known Dazai before he joined the Port Mafia. To be one of the few people who had been trusted by him. Keyword being ‘had’- for some, some unfathomable reason, he’d drifted away, leaving you behind, alone. Making you wonder if for some reason he wanted nothing to do with you anymore.

It hurt. It hurt that you could lose him so easily, despite having been with him throughout the years, making sure he knew that you would always be there for him, silently tending to him after yet another attempt. It hurt because you had no idea what you did wrong to push him away. It hurt because he didn’t care anymore, for you, for them, for your shared childhood. 

A fool could have probably known that you shouldn’t have gotten so close to the brunette, that he leaves nothing but a trail of suffering and sorrow in the wake of the people who dared to care for him. You, however, argued that he wasn’t like this before. At all. Again, a fool’s excuse.

Perhaps the Port Mafia had changed him, so much more than it changed you. Because now, he was completely unrecognisable, almost like he was a different person altogether. And you can’t help but dully wonder where the man you once knew almost inside out went, the man who once did his best to stay with you no matter what, when he abandoned you yet again during a joint mission ordered by Mori, citing some logical reasons of why it was better for you to not be with him during a mission. (Like always.) Not even bothering to get your opinion or response, something he never did before joining the Mafia.

You watch silently as the brunette slowly disappears into the horizon, leaving you behind. Again.

That night, as you return to your apartment alone once again, (Bittersweet memories surface in your mind- young Dazai cheerily walking you back home, laughing.), you get the distinct feeling that something is off. You are a mafioso after all, you need to have a keen sense for danger to be alive in this industry. You’re instantly on high alert, even though you look calm as always, with your hands in your coat pockets, ready to pull out your knives in a moment. But you still can’t sense anyone following you. Just to be sure, you take a detour home. 

You take a deep breath at the threshold of your door, relieved to be back here. That sense of danger wasn’t as prominent anymore, and you were dying to get some sleep in an attempt to get a certain brunette out of your mind. You’d deal with whatever the problem was tomorrow- you’d had enough today. You can’t help but smile forlornly as you walk into your dimly lit home-

-And then suddenly you’re falling, falling, into a void of darkness, surrounded by the people you care, by him, hurling words at you that stab you like a thousand knives in a nightmare, and dumbly you realise that you walked right into an ability user’s trap, before the unknown ability takes your consciousness, bringing a silent darkness and pain. 

*********

Mimic. A foreign organisation, a group of extremely skilled soldiers who sought the Port Mafia for unknown reasons. People who are willing to go to extreme lengths to get what they wanted- much like your own boss, really. And the ones who are your captors.

You can’t move, you’ve been chained. You assume that they want someone valuable to the Mafia as a hostage, and apparently you serve the purpose well. And dammit, you’ve been completely disarmed while unconscious, you can’t feel a single weapon on you. You’re alone, too, but there’s definite signs that someone’s been here, multiple times. There’s also an assortment of sharp weapons some distance away from you, and you think its cruel to leave them in your sight but out of reach. There’s no windows or openings either.

Footsteps echo outside the door of the room you’ve been kept in, breaking your survey of the room and your thoughts of escape routes. Two men walk in, dignified. It’s clear that they are war-trained soldiers. One of them stops talking with a grin, as he notices you awake.

**********

They want an individual from the Mafia on orders of their boss. They claim that Mori has been taking too long in making a decision, and they apparently hope their decision to take you captive will either force Mori to choose, or force you to give up the individual’s identity yourself in exchange for your freedom under pressure. But you can’t, won’t do the latter.

Because the individual they want is Oda Sakunosuke, Dazai’s new best friend, and you know damn well that he would utterly despise you if you gave up his identity, if you took away the one who gave him his reason to smile these days. Bitter thoughts cloud your mind, of how he abandoned you completely over some new friends, and you wonder if it would be better to just tell them. But then, your mafia sense kicks in, reasoning that if Mori doesn’t want his identity to be revealed yet, then you're probably as good as dead if you choose for him instead and return alive. (You would later realise that this thinking, too, was planned out by Mori, that bastard.) Your captors let hints slide that they’ll let your absence build up for a while, then let the Mafia know of your being their captive. Hopefully they do something. 

You’ll just have to do your best to get out of those damn bonds by then, or survive till then. This was a very convenient time to wish that Dazai had taught you his little trick on how to unlock handcuffs, you think wistfully.

*********

As it turns out, surviving is an extremely hard thing to do after a few days have passed since Mori was apparently informed about the news of your captivity. Mori still hadn’t responded with his decision. Proof being the various cuts and bruises littering your skin already, a few small bloodstains already on the wall and floor. Not too much. Yet. They were intent on forcing your answer out of you, and clearly wouldn’t mind going to extremes for it.

You did your utmost to not make a single reaction when the knife pierced through your skin again, despite the pain that shot through your body for the umpteenth time. Unfortunately, you were well trained on how to not divulge information in captivity- after all, the Port Mafia really couldn’t risk their insider secrets getting out. 

You were still intent on escaping, on getting out. You still had a flicker of hope in you, that someone would come for you, that he might come for you, despite the past few days proving fruitless. You refused to give up yet. You still believed in him, in them, that you wouldn’t be abandoned so easily by your kin.

‘Such a naive belief’, you would dully think some days later.

********

Hope seemed like such a foolish thing now. You had lost track of time in the room without windows. No idea of how many days or weeks had passed. They weren’t coming for you. Of course they weren’t. You weren’t that important anyways, easily replaceable. Casualties happened often, what did it matter if someone died by being taken hostage? You truly attempted to free yourself, many times. You never succeeded, and each time you only received more wounds as punishment. Your captors were merciless, to say the least.

Wounds. That seemed like a small word to use at this point, with how battered and bruised you were. Your clothes were bloodsoaked, and you’d lost count of the number of scars and cuts you’d gained from your captors a long while ago. You could sense they were getting extremely frustrated by the lack of response. You didn’t mind, you didn’t care. You’d even stopped screaming when they cut you particularly deep- you just didn’t have any strength left in you at all. You passed out a few times from extreme blood loss. You could almost hear Mori in your mind, scolding you to get up already. 

Mori. Of course, everything was probably a part of his heartless plans, fully willing to use any number of pawns for their execution.

At this point, you just wanted to be put out of your misery.

Your wish was granted some time- days?- later.

*******

Dazai was initially relieved when you didn’t show up to your next joint mission. He wouldn’t have to ensure your safety and hide his feelings again. But he’d quickly figured out that something was wrong when you didn’t show up again, and again, and you were nowhere to be seen around the Port Mafia buildings either. He’d gathered up the courage to go to your apartment, but had immediately sensed the ability at the entrance and deactivated it. That was what confirmed it for him, and finally, he allowed himself to feel fear for his childhood best friend. For you.

He was well aware that he didn’t deserve to, after how terribly he treated you in an attempt to protect himself from his emotions. His only defence was that he was afraid of hurting you- he knew his reputation well. But that didn’t matter right now- he had to find you. Except not a single person had a clue of your whereabouts. The only person he hadn’t questioned yet was Mori. 

Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to go beyond the doors of Mori’s office. He was scared. Scared of what he’d find.

Again, that would prove to be one of his biggest mistakes, when Kouyou grimly approached him, having accidentally obtained information about you that she wasn’t even supposed to know in Mori’s office. Kouyou cared for you enough to let Dazai know of your situation.

Dazai felt sick to the core when he saw the single picture attached in the message Kouyou sent him, along with a decision to choose between you and the future-seeing ability user- Odasaku. His heart dropped into his stomach even more when he saw that the last message was a few days ago. What if-?

No. Dazai refused to think of that possibility. He’d track down the source of that picture, he’d hunt them down, make them regret their decision, and he’d get you back. He’d make sure of it. He had too many apologies he owed to you after all, even if they would never make up for all that he’d done. He would.

*******

You were surprised that their boss hadn’t shown up to interrogate you yet. You simply stared hollowly at the walls as the door slammed open and the highest-ranked individual in the facility walked in, knife in hand. 

Not a single piece of information slipped past your mouth, as he went through the routine torture process. 

Time passes, and you can see that he’s grown extremely frustrated with your lack of response. One of the others standing at the door, watching your misery, suggested that he simply kill you and get it over with. It was pointless to keep you around anymore.

���Finally’ you think darkly. You didn’t think you could hold out for much longer. 

You close your eyes, not wanting to see your killer. Instead, you remember the people you care for, silently apologising to them for giving up. Somewhere, in the background, you hear the distant noises of shouting. Probably some of the other soldiers playing cards or something again.

Despite you willing yourself to not make a sound, a shattering scream tears itself out of your throat when you feel the knife harshly stabbed straight into your heart. Your killer twisted it roughly- another scream, your last- and then pulled the knife out. 

You feel yourself fall forward, double in on yourself, wrists held back to the wall. The agony is excruciating, but hopefully it won’t last long. To you, it feels as if your screams are echoing in the room, or maybe in your mind, and your vision has gone blurry in pain. But then, you realise through your numb haze that your screams do not sound like that- you’ve heard the sound enough.You realize that maybe someone has attacked your captors.

There’s a terrified shout mixed in all the clamor, and its a voice that you would recognise anywhere. ‘But there’s no way’, you think hollowly. No one cared enough to come for you.

Then you feel yourself falling forward suddenly, blood gushing out from your chest, into someone’s familiar arms as your eyes close. The handcuffs are gone. Faintly, you hear a voice- his voice- through the ringing in your ears, saying something unintelligible to you. You can’t understand what's being said, but you struggle to open your eyes one last time to see.

And somehow, Dazai is there, holding you tightly, eyes full of panic and terror, everyone else in the room crushed to the ground. He’s saying something worriedly to someone behind him- Chuuya. You briefly wonder if you’re hallucinating, but decide against it- this all feels too real. This must have been the shouts in the distance.

They came for you. In the end, they came, albeit a bit too late. You feel yourself being lifted, and then Dazai is running out, holding you carefully as if you could break any moment- you’re already broken though. You feel the cool night breeze for the first time in ages, see the beautiful moon again. A small smile rests on your lips as you feel yourself finally fall limp in his arms. ‘He still looks as pretty as before, and maybe, just maybe, he still cares for you’, is what you think.

You shut your eyes again, surrendering yourself to the darkness beyond the agony.

********

Horrified is much too mild a word to use, when he sees your condition. When he sees you being stabbed in front of his eyes, when you fall limp in his arms. The next moments are a panicked blur, Chuuya saying something to take you somewhere, that he’ll handle this place. He runs straight out, towards the Mafia building, towards the doctors, towards the hospital, anywhere, anywhere you can be saved. 

But its already too late, he knows it when you don’t move in his arms anymore, when your bleeding chest doesn’t rise and fall again, and he doesn’t know what else to do apart from screaming in sorrow and fear, because he’s just lost the one person who understood him like no one else, who cared for him like no one else, who he stupidly pushed away, and its all because of him. He falls to his knees, still clutching your lifeless, bleeding body. Your face had a hint of a smile in your last few moments, and that is what finally breaks him. All he can do is cry out apologies continuously, tears freely streaming down his face, for everything he’s done wrong, for how he’s treated you, for being too late to save you.

finallyyy, and as usual, votes, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated also lmk if you guys want a happy ending :D

[caelanglang]

I heard some spoilers… from the last stageplay… I am very unwell….

[asagirisfavpen]

Bsd AU where Rimbaud and Verlaine didn't get to the lab in time and N managed to make Chuuya a weapon

Bsd AU where "Arahabaki", an 10 y/o kid, is sent to eliminate Japan's enemies in the Great War.

Bsd AU where Rimbaud and Verlaine are sent on the front so they stop Arahabaki from killing everyone.

Bsd AU where Chuuya uses Corruption to eliminate his country's enemies until he can't take anymore and passes out.

Bsd AU where Verlaine and Rimbaud are searching all over the war camps to find a little kid that's seen as a weapon.

Bsd AU where an 11 y/o Yosano finda a little kid lost amongst soldiers. The kid is hurt so she heals him. He never leaves her side again, too scared of getting hurt, too scared to be taken back to the lab.

Bsd AU where the Great War ended and Japan was on the winning side and Mori figured out who or what Chuuya was and wanted to have him.

Bsd AU where Chuuya and Yosano are put in confinement for their crimes during the war even though they won the war for their country. And they even have to be separated.

Bsd AU where Chuuya lost everything, family, safety, trust, friends, and N finds him and takes him back, proud of his work.

Bsd AU where after Fukuzawa defeats Mori and saves Yosano, the little girl tells him someone else needs to be saved.

Bsd AU where Chuuya escapes by himself from the lab and finds the Sheep. He doesn't trust them, everything is temporary. But he can’t help it. He gets attached and joins them.

Bsd AU where Verlaine and Rimbaud return to France thinking Arahabaki must've died but Verlaine can't accept it.

Bsd AU where after the Sheep betrays Chuuya he doesn't join the Mafia for them. It's not worth it. But Dazai doesn't kill them. He's too shocked Chuuya didn't made the choice he expected.

Bsd AU where after Chuuya leaves the Sheep he's found by Fukuzawa and gets reunited with his friend.

Bsd AU where Chuuya becomes a member of the Agency when he was 15 and felt pretty much happy since then.

Bsd AU where Chuuya and Murase have a father-son relationship because this time they can.

Bsd AU where Chuuya has friends that don't use him and that won't leave him, here in the Agency.

Bsd AU where years later Dazai joins the Agency and he's faced with the boy he couldn't predict.

Bsd AU where Chuuya is happy and goes drinking with Yosano and they accidentally get to a Mafia's bar but the people there, some dudes calling themselves the Flags, are chill and they bond.

Bsd AU where The Assassin King randomly sees some news from Japan about a detective and he realizes that's Arahabaki, no. Chuuya. And he feels bad he couldn't help him but he's also happy that Chuuya's not in pain anymore.

Bsd AU where at the beginning Chuuya can't trust Dazai but they end up working too good together not to.

Bsd AU where Chuuya accidentally meets Shirase and he (Shirase) apologizes for what he did to Chuuya. It's hard, but Chuuya forgives him and the Sheep.

Bsd AU where Chuuya is working on a case with the Europole and he has to work with some AI detective, Adam. Turns out the robot is cool and they become friends.

Bsd AU where Chuuya doesn't question his humanity, where Chuuya's friends are alive and he can see them all.

(Does this make sense? Prolly not, partially because English isn't my first language. Does it have plot holes? Definitely. Did it feel angsty when I wrote it? Yep. Be honest, am I delulu?? )

[batshikns]

Q ANGST CANCELED RN I DIDNT SLEEP AND IM NEVER SLEEPING AGAIN YOU CANT

...

[unicornpopcorn14]

Skk angst scenarios that live in my head rent free tho I have no time/courage to write them as a whole fic (Part 2):

Tw: Ptsd, implied/mentioned torture, panic attack symptoms, iatrophobia (fear of doctors)

Decided to put Chuuya through it this time . Enjoy :>

(1/2)

Chuuya wakes up from corruption the first time (after all the events of SB) and finds himself in a hospital bed.

His eyes are hazy as he tries to scan the room, blurred by anesthesia. It's all white, frantic shadows casting along. His own breath is loud, clouding the mask he's wearing. The urge to go back to sleep is strong, but he clings to consciousness, tries to make sense of things-

He chokes when he spots a figure in a white coat leaning over the bed.

It's a man- dark haired and soft-voiced. And because he can't see past the length of his arm, he's faceless.

The heart monitor's beeps are frantic and grate on his senses, and Chuuya can't even twitch. The oxygen mask has turned translucent, the clouds stiff and condencing faster than they should. He can't breathe- he can't-

"Chuuya-kun. You're in Mori's infirmary, my infirmary. There is nothing to fear."

The faceless figure says, and Chuuya wants to believe it, so he tries to squint his eyes, make out any features, but it's impossible with the heart desperate to beat out of his chest, the labcoat and latex gloves towering over him.

"Chuuya-kun, can you hear me? It's okay. You are safe."

He knows he should be. It's his boss, the man he'd pledged his loyalty for. He knows there is no reason for him to think otherwise. There is no threat of him getting dissected, torn up, burnt, or tied down like some monster but still-- still...

He's terrified, he's so fucking terrified and he can't help it.

~

←Part 1 - Part 2.2→

[wonder-and-wildflowers]

Literally where tf is Verlaine?? Like,, dude how many world ending events occur before you'll leave your freakin depression basement?? 😭😭

He didn't come out for Dead Apple. He didn't come out when Q was free and terrorizing people. Or when the majority of the world turned to vampires. He hasn't come out now that theres some crazy ass god thing slurpin everybody up like a juicebox 😭

[chososchalupa]

wish that it was me - masterlist

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The last person you wanted to see at this meeting was your older brother. The same brother who left you in the hands of Chuuya Nakahara and the Port Mafia years ago, but all you can see now are the pleading eyes of Osamu Dazai begging for forgiveness.

warnings,, mentions of self harm, anxiety

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Ch 1. - Deep Breath

Ch. 2 - Please listen

Ch. 3 - More than you’ll ever be

Ch. 4 - Don’t be mad

Ch. 5 - Come get me

Ch. 6 - He's gone

Ch. 7 - Wish that was me

Ch. 8 - Memories

Ch. 9 - I told you

Ch. 10 - What about me?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Taglist

Also posted on AO3

[angelseverything]

Pinning Wings ~

A Yosano backstory fanfiction

Big thank you: to @arborvitaeandrogyne for being my beloved beta, @lifeiz for helping me with the banner and @sister-lucifer for the divider!

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

CW: Graphic depiction of head and neck injury • Mori is gross no way around it so DNI if that bothers you • Canon behavior • Manipulation • Emotional distress • Panic attack

Word Count: 14,020

Synopsis: She has no clue how instrumental she is to securing their victory in The Great War. This power will go far beyond what she could even think is possible, he'll make sure of it. He'll take her, indoctrinate her, to the future, his future.

Mori fought the urge to simply just get up, commandeer her and vanish. He looked down at himself. No, not like this. This situation requires a fair amount of sensitivity and prerequisites if he's going to get the ideal result. He'll need to meticulously draft up that document and get permission for this operation. Then, he’ll do his due diligence in researching Akiko Yosano’s family, history, and all the things she’ll need once they begin the assimilation process. He thought how lovely it would be to have such a charming girl stand by him. Soon enough, he'll begin the preparations.

After finishing up his tea and yokan, Mori left the money on the table and walked right out, making sure to leave behind a generous tip. It was only fair, for he was about to take something far more precious…

A/N: (Aka my take on the story of how Mori discovered Yosano and drafted her into the military). Also if you want the Ao3 link it is the chaptered version! More notes at the end of the fic :)

  ~A child fervently pursues the flutter of wings. Once his eyes were set on the butterfly, he wouldn't stop until he had caught it, for it was just too lovely to leave alone. The insect’s small frame undulates up and down, frantically flying for survival.~

It was his day off. A rarity for the man, however the day was not for recreation. Ougai Mori may not have been on the clock but his mind still revolved around the state of his underdeveloped special ability infantry corps. A war using abilities be damned if the ability users under his command were subpar at best. He was granted clearance to lead an experimental platoon of men to fight in close quarters combat on Tokoyamijima Island. The battles will be beginning soon. The success of their performance would determine if special abilities were to be fully integrated into the Japanese military. They needed to be exceptional. The young man was under a lot of pressure, being only 26 and already the chief medical officer meant it was his duty to order his group of men and allocate treatment depending on priority. He was the scale that weighed the difference between life and death for those he led. With the narrative of war changing before their very eyes, special abilities had completely dominated the battlefield altering what was humanly conceivable when it came to mutilating bodies, claiming territory and imposing oppression amongst populations. 

  A newly forming headache throbbed at his temples, for he was also due to write a regiment in document form and submit it to his Commander in Chief defending the use of special abilities. Mori knew this needed to be approved and enacted; effective immediately if they wanted to stand a chance in victory. With the Great War coming to an end and the entirety of America and Europe prowling for more power, they needed to act with twice the tact and thrice the ferocity if they wanted to evade the oncoming annihilation. 

  As Mori was lost in thought, his stomach churned, pulling his attention away from the ongoing war. Tea sounded nice, it was his day off after all so he decided to go on a walk. There weren’t many people out and about this early in the morning in Sakai city, where he was based. It’s better to get to know the place a little more, just in case he should need anything. With plain clothes on he strolled out. Small leaves had begun to make their return after the frigid winter months, buds poking out from the branches speckling them in light green. Song birds sat perched up top chirping out to one another in their shrill song. The spring breeze was light but chilly, just enough to pierce through a jacket, he quickly strode across the quiet street and into a local yokan shop. The little sign on the glass said open. Smirking selfishly to himself, hoping to find a cute girl to take his order and cater to his needs.

  ~ ~ ~

  Upon walking in, a small bell attached to a string chimed cheerily signifying his entry. The shop was completely enveloped in the scent of a warm sugar and red bean paste. Decorative scrolls hung from the walls and smooth wooden paneling covered the wall behind the glass display containing all the flavors of yokan, much to Mori’s dismay the women at the front seemed to be in her fifties, likely the owner of the shop. Her dark graying hair was tied back as she looked at him with kind crinkled eyes.

  “Welcome! Welcome! Come in, it's still cold out these days.” She gestured to him smiling. “I’m Yosano Satoko and I’ll be serving you today. What would you like?”

  “It is, isn't it?” He mused. “I’ll have an order of mizu yokan and a small black tea.” He stated, brushing a rouge strand of inky hair to the left of his face with the back of his hand. 

  “Wonderful! Please have a seat wherever you’d like. I'll be there with your order shortly.” 

  With that he nodded his head and walked to find a place to sit. The store was rather wide, a mother feeds her squirming toddler confections close to the front, and there, by the right window, a businessman tapping away on his computer grunting in frustration as his coffee grows cold. With the intention of mulling over his options and obligations for the military he chooses a booth at the back left corner oriented towards a closed door at the front of the shop. 

  It suddenly swings open and a young girl carrying a big box walks out, a very young girl. She couldn't have been any older than 12. She was just… lovely. Mori’s mud colored eyes dirtily trailed her up and down. Her shiny onyx hair bobbed up and down and rested right under her chin once she finished placing the box behind the glass containing the yokan. She was adorned in a pale yellow dress with ruffles on the straps. A white apron was tied around her waist finishing with a bow in the back. Though her frame was slight and doll-like there was purpose in her walk, an urge to complete the task. Good, he thought, all young girls ought to have this much vigor. She was truly a delight to watch, such youth, such freshness… Far sweeter than any yokan being served. Wasn’t she too young to be working? Regardless, it didn’t matter to him when she was just that adorable. The older woman patted her head, but the little one was in no mood. In her swift haste to return to the room she turned and her dress fluttered behind her. Mori’s fixed gaze stalked her as she paid no mind to the patrons of the shop.To his gratification the door was left open ajar and as the girl slipped inside, he cocked his head to the left to get a better view. Happy to just idly watch her. 

  “Hurry Soshichi!” The girl exclaimed in a hushed yell. There was another figure there, an even smaller boy. “Finish preparing the chestnuts, we’ll need them for the syrup soon. It’s almost rush hour and mom will be busy out there with serving, so I need to be ready with the next orders of yokan when the ones in the display run out!”

  “But Akikooooo!” He whined. “I don't like working with the chestnuts! The syrup always makes my hands really sticky and washing them off always takes a long time, I don't want to!”

  “Shhhh! Be quiet, aren’t you ashamed? The customers outside will hear you. What will you do once we get noise complaints? I don’t want to hear it. The usual workers are out today and dad is out buying more supplies. It's all hands on deck today, so do your part! We need to help and we need to be useful.” Akiko viciously hissed. Soshichi hung his head in shame, hair shagging over his face. Both her hands were placed on her hips and her chin jutted out in annoyance. Rolling her eyes she sighed out, “You're still too little to help with the actual cooking, we don't want you to get hurt. Believe me, I promise you will be working when you're older. So just leave that to me and stick to the easy stuff yeah?” Her eyes softened. “And if you’re good I’ll let you mix the yokan paste.”

  “Really!?” He gleefully piped up hopping from foot to foot.

  “Yes, now go do what I said. I have to get started cooking the next mixture.” With that she disappeared deeper into the building to what seemed to be the kitchen. It was surprising how far back the room actually went.

  Mori snapped out of his trance the moment Satoko Yosano appeared before him with a plate of mizu yokan and his steaming black tea.

  “Here you are sir, enjoy.” Her voice a soothing hum, she bowed politely and walked away. So this was the mother of those children... Lucky woman, they seemed well in spirit.

  Upon returning his gaze to the room he couldn't help but chuckle at the pure audacity from springy, young, Soshichi. He had completely abandoned his post by the chestnuts and began gathering random ingredients from the high shelves. Fully disregarding what his older sister had asked of him. Typical behavior of a youth he presumed, he’d admired how freeing the feeling is to act on your own accord regardless of what superiors ordered. 

  The boy climbed a creaky wooden ladder angled at the wall to reach the top shelf where a glass jar of fine white powder sat. His era of joyous rebellion was just as short-lived as his life…

   In an effort to reach the jar one of his tiptoed feet lost its footing, before he could even yelp, he went plummeting down smacking his head on the table letting out a grotesque crack. His body then crashed to the ground shoulder first, his head lagging behind soon rolling to follow the sharp and sudden movement. His body lay there, contorted and broken, his fingers convulsing. Blood began to pour from the front of his head dripping onto his white shirt and denim overalls pooling around his upper body.

  Mori sat there stone-faced, he'd witnessed plenty of horrors at the hospital, and myriad more in war, but this was just hapless. Foolish thing, he thought. It's one thing to act of your own accord but to put yourself in a position that you are incapable of overcoming is another. Such a shame, such a waste, to lose life this early. That child had hardly had the chance to live. Mori’s knees moved into action. He is a doctor after all, might as well take a look. He'd have to be intensely careful though, head injuries are incredibly delicate, this is a guaranteed trip to the hospital for surgery if the boy isn't dead already. He'll need to call an ambulance and prioritize vertebrae stability if they want the young boy to ever walk again but with the way his neck was oddly bent the chances of that were grim. Incredible how fatal a seemingly small fall can permanently alter the trajectory of one's life. His poor body. His poor family. 

  Before Mori could even make it out of the booth, the young girl bursted into the room after hearing the thud, her gaze quick and sharp. Despite the noise the fall had made, the multiple coffee machines running, humming, beeping and the high-pitched squeals coming from the toddler the sound was rather muffled. All she could do was groan at the sight before her. Groan? She just witnessed the broken bleeding body of her younger brother and she just groaned? Mori stood there in calculative silence, baffled, she then spoke up. 

  “Special ability, ‘Thou Shalt Not Die!” Glittering purple and blue butterflies materialized out of thin air. Soon one started glowing until it was nothing but a bright silhouette, it flew directly onto the boy's crumpled form, exploded into sparkles and lit up the room in its brilliance. Its radiant particles glimmer and dissipate into thin air. The light enveloped the boy, and as if he was a knot being untied his body began to reset exactly to the way he was before the impact. He lay there sitting in his own blood, skin shiny and soft, aside from his crimson stained clothing, there was no evidence of the injury left on his body. 

  “What were you thinking! What did I just tell you!?” She pinched his earlobe with her thumb in forefinger, twisting it painfully. “Don't you know how dangerous it is to reach up there at your size? I mean come on Soshichi, how hard is it to follow instructions? Don’t be such an idiot! You'll never get anywhere if you can't listen to people! And just as I had the burner going too.”

  “Ah, ah! Akiko stop!” He shouted as he pathetically pawed at her wrist but his attempts were futile since she was stronger and he was still weak from the transformational healing.

  “No! Clearly I need to stretch your ear out because you can't listen! I just can't even understand why you would do that after I specifically told you to focus on the chestnuts. You can't just do whatever you want whenever you want, you won't help anyone that way!”

  “But I was trying to help! I was grabbing the kanten powd-”

  “Stop it!” She cried out, the boy couldn’t help but shake his head and wriggle in her grip. 

  “The customers will hear you!” He squeaked in a last ditch attempt to free himself. She shakily exhaled and released his ear from her prison and her face began to grow red and puffy. It was then, a mixture of hot and distressed tears began to leak from her violet eyes. The horror and pressure of this moment finally catching up to her. How she hated crying in front of people.

“What if I didn't hear you fall, Soshichi? What would we do!? I don't know how much time a person can stay dead before my ability doesn’t work anymore! I don't know the limits of how much I can fix you! I've had to do it three times already and that's not okay.” She gently takes his face in her hands, her eyes pleading. Soshichi’s lips start quivering at seeing his older sister so troubled, his Akiko hardly ever cries. He quietly started to hiccup, guilt and regret making their way over his features. “I know you don’t do it on purpose but you’re stressing me out. That's not ok, Soshichi… Sometimes I feel I can't take care of everyone and I need you to do your part. Mom, dad, Haruki and Sayako need you, and I need you too... You would have died three whole times if I didn’t have this ability. What if I didn’t have it? What if I couldn’t save you? You need to think about that. Please, please, I’m begging you Soshichi. Be more careful. We can’t keep doing this.”

  “I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!” He lept into her arms and his wails were dulled by her body, her arms wrapped around him and she gently rocked both of themselves back and forth on the floor where they sat, kissing the top of his head. She softly rubbed his back and shushed his whimpers comforting the both of them. 

  “I think it's best if you go home Soshichi. Go take a bath, I’ll clean the rest of this up.

  “But Akiko-”

  “No, please, just let me do this, go rest you had a long day and just…” She put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Think about what happened today and what you will change.”

  “I-ok.” He obediently got up and grabbed his coat, putting it on to hide the stains from the accident; then he hurried away out the back door. Akiko got up, removed her soiled apron and dusted herself off. Taking a moment to steady herself, her body drew in deep breaths as she stretched her arms upwards. Soon she returned with cleaning supplies. Unsuspecting of the painfully perceptive eyes that monitored and noted this dreadful event.

  Mori's eyes were completely blown-wide. What an ability… He'd never seen anything like it. “Thou Shalt Not Die” rang in his head. His mind was racing to process what he just witnessed. He thought just how correct he was to take a liking to her so soon. What an extraordinary child. Very befitting of what her name meant, “bright child”, if not her by her ability, than by her character so kind, so considerate, responsible, and feisty. It was hard to believe she was so young, incredibly well spoken, and assertive. One whose abilities and talents were wasted, no, squandered on a place like this. He needed to know more about her ability immediately, her limits, capability, drawbacks and potential. He needed to be with her, to study her. Yes. With her by his side all would be right; she was the key. He refuses to let this darling unbloomed flower grow in the wrong garden. 

  He leered ecstatically, this girl was exactly what he was looking for. She was the answer. with an ability like that she could keep resurrecting soldiers; they'd be, essentially immortal… He imagined just that, an immortal army created from her ability full of fighting soldiers who will just keep defying death, resurrection becoming their new code of conduct. Retreating had just become obsolete. Losing wouldn't be plausible with such an overwhelming advantage on their side. What a treat this really is, he thought. Any ability looked pathetic and meek next to hers, his own paled in comparison.

   Immediately having a new idea for what he was going to write about, the “Immortal regiment” sounds fitting. He'll have to write and submit it to the Special Ability Doctrine and his words would definitely cause some heads to turn but an opportunity like this does not come so casually. He didn't care whether it was divine intervention or just folly luck but this little girl has changed the very concept of war, once again. He refuses to fall behind in history, not when there will be such a magnanimous tool at his command. In war there is no salvation. Through this brutality the United States was able to capitalize on the rest of the nations. Becoming an elitist hegemon that ravaged through taking whatever it wanted remorselessly. Using special abilities is the only way to compete as Europe began to utilize similar tactics, quickly catching on. Those who clawed their way to the top to avoid their own peril in mediocrity by abandoning the old and the faulty. Tradition has no place in the new world that thrives in bloodshed and gore. Never has. This isn’t just a tactic to avoid destruction and forge allies. No. It’s a leveraging opportunity to attain a foothold in the globe’s power system.

   She has no clue how instrumental she is to securing their victory in The Great War. This power will go far beyond what she could even think is possible, he'll make sure of it. He'll take her, indoctrinate her, to the future, his future. 

  Mori fought the urge to simply just get up, commandeer her and vanish. He looked down at himself. No, not like this. This situation requires a fair amount of sensitivity and prerequisites if he's going to get the ideal result. He'll need to meticulously draft up that document and get permission for this operation. Then, he’ll do his due diligence in researching Akiko Yosano’s family, history and all the things she’ll need once they begin the assimilation process. He thought how lovely it would be to have such a charming girl stand by him. Soon enough, he'll begin the preparations.

  After finishing up his tea and yokan, Mori left the money on the table and walked right out; making sure to leave behind a generous tip. It was only fair, for he was about to take something far more precious…

~ ~ ~ 

Two weeks had passed since Mori's visit. He now possessed the proper permission from the upper brass and the documents he required for this endeavor; there was only one clear goal for today and she was all he could think about.

   Mori was officially on business today… It was a very early morning, still dark out as the sun hadn't fully ascended into the sky. A slender woman with blue eyes and braided blonde hair in an updo soundlessly accompanied him. She was dressed in a costume-like nurse's garb: white blouse, frilly apron and a matching headpiece overlayed a long navy blue dress. The birds had just begun to chirp and the streets were eerily quiet. The yokan shop opens at 6:00 a.m, it was Mori’s plan to arrive at 5:00 during setup, hoping to collect her before customers begin to flitter in. After looking into it, he found out that the Yosano family only has the children help on weekends, Saturday it was. Clad in his crisp soldier uniform he matched the woman’s navy one. A white armband with the red squares symbolizing medicine wrapped around his bicep and his hair was tied back. He practically marched into the store. The bell rang notifying the woman at the front who was bent over fixing something in the glass display. The man’s presence overtook the room. The little sign on the glass window wasn't even flipped to “open” yet. 

  “Oh my apologies, we are technically closed at the moment, feel free to come ba-” She froze, heart standing still, gazing up to see the tall soldier standing over her. Arms folded strictly behind his back and his shoulders squared. Her tone switched up immediately. “Pardon me, how may I help you?”

  “Are you Yosano Satoko, the mother of Yosano Akiko?” He already knew the answer, but for legality’s sake he had to verbally confirm her parental guardians. Satoko’s eyes widened in shock at the mention of her daughter’s name. Her mind pondered the thought of having seen this man before but with so many customers in and out it was hard to keep track.

  “Why yes, I am. Is there something wrong sir?” She put a hand over her mouth. “Is she in trouble? I can assure you she is a very well mannered girl-”

  “Quite the contrary Mrs Yosano.” Mori chuckled. “Your daughter has been personally selected to be drafted into the Japanese military, under a fully sponsored medical scholarship.” 

  “Pardon? This must be a mistake… She's just a child, only eleven years old. She can’t be in the military.” Her voice was quiet and horrified at the thought.

  “Ah, I can understand your confusion, allow me to fully explain-” Mori smoothly voiced with practiced persuasion. 

  “Hold on, I'm sorry, one moment… I-I need to get my husband” She exclaimed fearfully, motioning her hand up and down in order to pause the conversation as she disappeared into the back. Soon enough she reemerged with a man shorter than Mori but taller than her, his dark hair was balding but he compensated for it with a mustache. He was dressed in a white tank top, apron and black trousers; he had the body of a man who lifted many things in strenuous physical labor but also one of a man who never refused any treats fed to him by his wife.

  “What is the meaning of this!” Bellowed the man, his round face flushing a deep angry shade of red. It was clearly visible that he was previously lifting sacks of riceflower, evident by the smears of it on his clothing and his heavy breathing. He radiated anger at being disrupted from his demanding work for a reason as bizarre as this.

  “Please calm down Mr Yosano, my name is Dr. Ougai Mori-”

  “I don’t give a damn what your name is! What business does the military have with our daughter?” He spat maliciously sticking out an accusatory finger at the soldier. Mori’s tone conveyed a sense of calm and collectedness. 

  “As I previously mentioned to your wife, your daughter, Akiko Yoshino has been drafted into the military with a full medical scholarship”.

  “Drafted!? Have you lost your mind? Are you mentally deranged? That girl is a child! What could the military want with a child? How do you even know her?” He growled suspiciously, low and protective. Mori closed his eyes and sighed, mourning how easy this confrontation could’ve gone had her parents had more sense of the bigger picture. 

  “A report on the military’s private domain states that your daughter has a very rare healing ability, one that would be instrumental to the military. There is a new regiment being implemented regarding individuals with special talent like hers. Due to the circumstances involving the current war some priorities have shifted as the front remains dier. She could save so many lives, think of the soldiers that will get to keep fighting, and return to their families.” 

   “That's not her responsibility! She's just a kid, what part of that do you not understand? Children in the military are illegal. You disgust me. What parent would let their little girl in war? I refuse to let my daughter in any battle! Disgraceful, I don’t know what you boots in the army are planning but this… This is sick! You should be picking on young healthy men if you want help with the war effort. Leave my family alone!” His eyes blazed at Mori, eyes flickering to the ghostly woman beside him. His wife grabbed his arm, nodding quickly in agreement. 

  “My apologies, but you misunderstand me. She wouldn't be anywhere near battles, as I said this is an educational opportunity on the basis that she’ll study medicine. Nobody is more passionately protected in the military than the medics who heal. As you know the current state of the country has taken quite the hit. You should know yourself how many businesses and schools have closed from the war. This will promise her an education, her future. Despite how brutish the military may seem. All we are doing is looking for brilliant young minds with potential like hers. I can personally guarantee that she would be studying under me, her commanding officer. I’m the chief medic and I would be overseeing everything.”

  There was a slight shift in Mrs Yosano’s eyes, seeing this more as an academic opportunity for her child’s future. Skeptical still as she wasn’t fully accepting of the idea.

  “You mentioned that she would go on a full scholarship?” Her husband‘s face flashed an expression of betrayal momentarily but she shot him a pointed look. He knew it all too well so he stilled himself wanting to see where his wife was going with this. Mori’s lips curled into a smile. He was starting to get through to them. Good.  

  “Yes, the government will be covering all of her expenses including lodging, uniforms, meals, and anything else she may need. This program is unique and adequately funded.”  

  “Who will take care of her, you don’t seem like the type to have children of your own? She may be responsible but she’s not grown. What about the soldiers who would want to paw at her? Oh heavens so many men, away from their wives… I can’t even imagine it.” She grimaced, turning her head away. Mr Yosano held her shoulder and narrowed his eyes at Mori expecting an acceptable answer.

  “I assure you she will be under my constant supervision, at all times. She won’t leave my side, ever.” He states surly, moving his right hand back to his hip, thumb grazing the leather belt that secures his gun, resting it there. “And this-”  He steps to the side gesturing with his left hand toward the woman standing wordlessly next to him. “Is Elise, she will also be present as her caretaker should she need anything at all.”

  “Hello, it is nice to meet you both.” Elise politely waved in greeting, bowing her head slightly, her voice soft and robotic, she stared at them with those vacant blue eyes… There was something off about her, something inhuman. 

  “All that’s needed of either of you is to sign these documents stating that you have given your permission to allow Miss Akiko to study with us.”

  This was too much too soon. The Yosano’s looked at each other in silent agreement, they knew that there was something wrong with this program. It seemed too good to be true, too sudden, that never seemed to be a good sign. Who in their right minds would be involving children in a war? It’s shameful to think Japan would stoop so low. Of course they would want to help their country but not at the cost of their child, never at that. Yes it would be a shame for her to miss out on this educational opportunity but it makes them incredibly uncomfortable to send Akiko so far away from them, their protection, their family and home. To send her away from everything she has ever known to cold barracks and rigid untrustworthy strangers. It’s too big a risk. 

  Tsuyoshi Yosano didn’t like the idea in the first place. He was raised in the fields as a young boy, education never held the same place to him as hard work. He felt that Akiko doesn’t need to be involved with any of that at such a tender age or any age at all; she is best with her family, where she belongs. Satoko Yosano was unnerved by how quickly this military man came into their store and immediately knew of their daughter by some “report” but by who, how? It was making no sense, and that foreign woman, Elise. How could she let a stranger as empty as her look after her baby, no she decided she wouldn’t have it even if it was all paid for.

   With all their reasoning the most important topic hadn’t been broached, how would Akiko feel about this? It’s all about what’s best for her, what she should do, but no one even told her about the life changing choices being made for her right now. She never mentioned she wanted to become a doctor, who gets to make that decision? If that’s what she wants, then she can work towards it on her own time, not like this. It’s not like the school their children attended got closed. After that brief glance between the parents that felt like eternity, it was Mrs Yosano that spoke up.

  “Apologies, however Akiko won’t be participating. We understand the opportunity you’re offering her, but it is for the best that she stays with her family. This is a choice I would have liked for her to have a say in but as parents we agree on this decision. Thank you for the offer.” Her voice was clear, firm and unwavering; her husband crossed his arms and punctuated her statement with a singular nod. It was a stark contrast from how timid she was when the soldier first arrived; however after hearing his business their decision was final. Topics regarding her children were non negotiable. 

  ~ ~ ~

  “How unfortunate it is that you say that. That’s a decision that you’ll want to rethink, immediately. Believe me, I truly wanted to make this a smooth and beneficial transition for everyone, unfortunately, you lack the gravity of the situation.” He dryly chuckled, slightly shaking his head in predicted disappointment. He started, taking a few steps too close, creeping forward, concern seeped into the faces of Akiko’s parents. 

  “What are you saying?” Mr Yosano threatened with a scowl, narrowing his eyes. His voice resumed its pugnacious nature at the soldier’s incessant pressing. He loathed the smug sneer that edged into his face.

  “Allow me to make this undeniably clear, failure to sign the papers transferring the custody of young Yosano into the military will result in the immediate arrest of both you and your wife. Your unwillingness to comply violates the Japanese Penal Code Article 95B, obstruction of military affairs is considered high treason and depending on the degree will be punished accordingly. The fact that this very operation is so critical to the war, any hindrance such as this will not be taken lightly.” He recites dipping his head to the side in feigned sympathy at their situation. “It appears your hands are tied~” A wicked grin stretched across his face at the sight of Mrs Yosano’s quiet gasp. Her trembling hand cupped the bottom half of her face. Mori was nothing if not prepared. Mr Yosano lunged forward grabbing fistfuls of Mori's uniform in his hands pulling him harshly towards him. Mori let himself get yanked, instead he coldly stared straight into his eyes, dark and unyielding. 

  “How dare you threaten my wife and I! I’ll report you! I’ll make sure they’ll remove all disrespectful bastards like you, now get the hell out of here!” A hot angry breath huffed out from his flared nostrils. 

  “I would advise you to let go, you wouldn't want to add physically assaulting and threatening a soldier to your growing list of charges.” Mori sighed, the tone shifted from smug satisfaction into something more quiet, malicious passive aggression. “Highly unlikely that the upper brass will sympathize with you due to your blatant impudence, especially with an eyewitness available.” Mr Yosano's eyes shot to the blonde woman standing there idly, a simple smile painting her face. “It’s my word against yours, the chief medical officer, or an alleged trader.” Mori stuck out his chin, his sharp unblinking eyes glared into Mr Yosano’s. “Your ignorance is so palpable it’s wrinkling my uniform and your daughter is more important than you’ll ever know. She is the very thing that can change the outcome in this war and the country will not suffer this great a loss due to your hyperactive emotional state. Besides…” His expression shifted to that of a coy predator, one mocking its prey before the carnage. “Haven’t you considered who will look after your children if you're rotting in a cell, or swinging from the gallows? According to my records, both of your parents on both sides of your families are deceased, and there is no suitable kin to take them in. Mrs Yosano has a brother but he's been arrested for two separate drug charges. I highly doubt they’ll be placed with him. What a shame.” Sighing in faux empathy, he ensures to make eye contact with both Yosano parents in his next words. “Charming ten year old Haruki, quite the budding athlete, and he seems to like going to all of his afterschool clubs too. Then there’s eight year old Sayako~, a beautiful girl. Tell me, how are her music lessons going? Picking up a new hobby is so exciting. Ah, and how could we forget rambunctious Soshichi? Six years old and so full of energy my, my, what a free spirit. How would they handle him hm? Such a pity if all these lovely children end up orphaned and alone during a time of war; where government funding to orphanages is tight and everyone is too focused on getting by rather than adopting children. You wouldn’t want them to be split up, separated, to be raised by strangers, or worse abused, would you? The painful irony is, your daughter’s future remains the same regardless of any irrational choices you make. Once you both are reprimanded, I'll simply take darling Akiko into my care, without any hassle or obstacles. It would be the both of you leaving them all homeless.” Mr Yosano’s fists shook as they unclamped their hold on his uniform falling to his sides. For the first time he was genuinely speechless, averting his eyes to the floor. Mori began to tug and fix his clothing, nonchalantly brushing any dust off. 

  “Take me!” Mr Yosano barked. “Leave the children out of it and take me.”

“The military has no use for you Mr Yosano.” Mori replied coldly. “The point I made about your daughter saving lives would be null if you joined in her place. That’s not how this is going to happen.” 

  “How could you do this!?” Mrs Yosano’s voice quivered with rage, eyes digging into him insolently. Her mind was racing; this was all happening too fast, her heart was thundering in her chest, her soul felt blackened and twisted into knots. Sweat beaded along her neck and dripped down. Her clothing felt too tight. Everything felt too tight. Ashamed and enraged she thought to herself, how could she let this happen under her watch? Just who is this poison, this devil that injected himself into their lives, lurking in every dark corner whenever they weren’t looking. Insidiously creeping up on them until it was too late. Feeling absolutely ill over how long this monster spent looking through their records spying on her children. Her children!?

  “How could I do this?” Mori asked in mock incredulousness. Conceited smirk returning to his face at the fact that he won, not that he was worried. “How could your selfishness deprive your country, your military and most importantly your daughter of this opportunity? I’m doing your daughter a favor by giving her an education found nowhere else. All the things about her scholarship still stand. She’ll be a heroine. History will chant her name with victory for the things I know she will be capable of.” He ominously reached into his belt pulling out a pair of silver handcuffs… Opening them slowly, the sinister clicking echos within the room. Seeming to be the only sound audible amongst the running machines. He stalks closer. “Now, what will it be?” Before he can take another step Mrs Yosano scrambles for the papers spread on the glass counter. Frantically signing her signature. This was an impossible decision, but sending Akiko far to school is the lesser of the two evils right? This will be good for her, right? She needed to believe so. 

  Mr Yosano’s face contorted in pain, he was at an absolute loss. Nothing he could do would change the final outcome. He fought back tears, his wonderful, kind, sweet, innocent daughter. Oh God, how would he explain this to her? Her siblings? How could he prepare her for this when he could hardly keep himself together? 

  “Excellent! I’m glad to see you’ve come to your senses.” He takes the documents, neatly folding them before handing them to Elise who seals them in an envelope and places it in her bag. “Now, let’s bring young Akiko out. I'd like to introduce myself before we leave.”

  “You can’t. She’s not here right now. We will send her when she is good and ready.” Mr Yosano interjected, voice gruff and choked. He was trying to delay this as much as possible, to do damage control. He will not lose his daughter today. Mori hummed disappointedly, he was a patient man but his patience was thinning the longer this interaction ran. 

  “And here I thought you’d know better than to lie to a soldier. I know she’s here. Before I respond harshly and walk back in there and bring her out myself. I’m giving you the opportunity to do this quietly, without her siblings involved. Don’t ruin the one chance I’m offering you. I expect one of you to bring her out quickly, try to leave the building with her and the gallows I mentioned will be a reality... I understand you want your daughter to be ready but trust me the brain of a young girl like her doesn’t need preparation time. The sooner she comes with me, the faster I can get her situated and acclimated to her new life. It’s better that way.” His gaze melted into something pensive and distant. “That's the thing I love about children, fragile as they are, they're resilient, moldable. She will recover, she will adapt. They’re more mature than we give them credit for; it's how they survive.” His morals were beyond reason, it was his own line of thinking that permitted this type of detachment when impacting the lives of other people.

   Mrs Yosano pivoted to go but her husband put a hand on her arm, a silent request to let him do it, she hesitated but soon obliged letting him pass. Too many thoughts on how to break the news to his beloved daughter sprinted through his fevered mind. Should he act like it's just military boarding school that will give her an edge in life or should he tell her the truth in the little time he had? Once he left the main room Mrs Yosano spoke up, she was reeling and she found it difficult to voice all her concerns.

  “When will we be able to visit her?”

  “You won’t be.” He stated flatly. There are many top secret government affairs taking place at the base of operations that require special clearance. By law nobody but essential personnel can be allowed inside, no exceptions. She’ll be released when I, her commanding officer, declare she’s completed her service. As it’s written on the second paper in paragraph five that you signed. Speaking of which, you will be sent a copy of the documents confirming the arrangement. The original version will remain with us, should you try to renege any forms of consent you may have previously given.” 

  Mrs Yosano stood in silent terror, just what did she sign? What she would give to wake up from this nightmare. Her breathing became irregular. All sound muffled as it felt like thick fabric was stuffed deep within her ear canals. Black and white worms squirm and wriggle, invading her vision. The pain in her abdomen thrummed, pulsating. She slid to the floor and sat down, feeling faint. Not only was her baby going to be shipped off to the military but they weren’t allowed to visit. She wasn’t allowed to come home unless that vile man said so…

  ~ ~ ~

  Akiko stood in the middle of the storage room suppressing a yawn. Placing her hands on her hips, she huffed out a frustrated breath at the sight of her incompetent siblings. 

  “Come on guys I know it’s early but we have to get started, we’ll be opening soon! Especially you Haruki! You’re the second oldest and the only other person I trust to work over the stove.” She hastily shouted, tying a securing bow around her apron.

  “Relaaax ok? It’s too early for you to be yelling at us.” He drawled, unapologetically letting out his own yawn. “Look at Sayako.” He points to the young girl with twin braids hanging in the air, head tossed over the back of the chair she sat passed out on, clearly finding it too early. “Besides, we hardly get any customers this early in the morning and we have enough stock before we run out. Chill out.” The stock in question was quickly being accessed by Soshichi already chomping down on some matcha yokan, his eager hand plunging into the box grabbing another one. Haruki narrowed his eyes, a sly competitive smile tugged at his lips. Noiselessly, he snuck up behind the thief grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around.

  “You gonna pay for those pal?” He leaned into Soshichi’s face, raising his eyebrow. 

  “I’m actually the owner of this place.” Soshichi says with the coolness of an established entrepreneur ten times his age. 

  “Well then you do really bad business!” Haruki lurches his hand out snatching the uneaten yokan in Soshichi’s hand. Soshichi tried to pull his hand away but his older brother was far faster, pulling it to his lips and taking a big bite out of the sweet treat. “The last thing you need is more sugar. We can hardly keep you from bouncing off the walls already!”

  “Heyyyyy! That was my breakfast, mine, you stole it! Get your own!” His voice was so shrill and whiny it rivaled that of an incredibly feral squirrel. The volume was immense enough that it woke up Sayako, who grumbled at being brought back to the land of consciousness. With small hands rubbing the sleep out of her eyes she looks up to see her brothers snacking on the inventory. Realizing she wants in on the action she pipes up.

  “Oh! Oh! Can I have some too please?” She asks expectantly perched on the chair.

  “Sure, if you can get over here and get some before this pig eats up everything and runs us out of business.”  Her older brother teases while roughly tussling their younger brother’s shaggy bangs. Without having to be told twice Sayako hops off the chair stumbling over to get herself a piece. 

  “I’m not a pig! You’re a pig, so big and fat!” It was a simple joke that Haruki had said and it was meant to be just that, unfortunately Soshichi had taken high offense to his pig comment and went all in, slapping him with sticky, grubby, hands.

  “Hey! Hey! I’m not fat, you're just mad you're still small and weak.” He laughs eating his yokan with one hand while swatting at Soshichi with the other. A small fit of giggles comes from Sayako as she nibbles on her yokan at the sight of her brothers fooling around.

“Weak!? I’ll show you who’s weak!” His face turned angry, red and riled up as he started to kick at Haruki. Akiko rolled her eyes watching this mess unfold, she walked in between, pushing them apart. Even having to dodge left from one of Soshichi’s kicks in the process. 

  “That’s it! What’s wrong with you two!? Honestly I can’t even-”  She paused at the sight of the yokan being thrusted at her face, gazing at her brother in momentary shock.

  “Go on, take it. You look like you need some too.” Haruki smiled, a bit cheeky, but sincere as he knew Akiko wouldn’t take any for herself. She scanned it, gaze softening, even though she knew it was probably a way to get her to shut up she grinned at being offered some. She was willing to guess that behavior like this is what kept Haruki out of trouble at school. Regardless, she decided to accept his peace offering and indulge just this once. It had been so long since she last had some. She took the piece and lifted it to her mouth, taking a small bite. The earthy flavor mixes in with the syrup balancing it out making it perfect, not too sweet. It’s flavor is mild, but it’s a reminder of home. Memories of her mother feeding it to her before she could even walk. She shakes her head smiling. 

  “What would you bunch ever do without me?” For a brief fragment in time everything was serene as the siblings were snickering towards each other, then suddenly, after those words, their father barged in huffing and sweating, face all flushed. Something was wrong. The kids all froze in silent horror at their seemingly aggravated father catching them red handed in eating up the yokan stock. Mr Yosano buffers at the sight of all his children devouring the store's supply, he couldn’t give any less of a damn in the state he was in. There were far more pressing matters at hand.

  “Everyone except Akiko, in the kitchen now!” A pang of guilt bubbled in Haruki’s chest. His older sister was the one trying to keep everyone on schedule, she didn’t deserve this. Pushing past her he spoke up. 

  “Dad, it was my fault! I was the one who gave everybody the yokan! Your problem is with me!” Akiko locked eyes with him nodding her head in thanks, grateful for his willingness to take responsibility, although she felt a little bad because at least she was used to getting yelled at most of the time. Even if he was just a year younger he was still her younger brother. Usually she was the first to hear if there was something she was doing wrong or if there was a problem. Over the years of her young life she developed a high standard for behaving in order to keep the peace. 

  “Haruki out now!” His elevated agitated voice left no room for argument. Haruki slumped his shoulders and walked out, but not before giving his older sister an apologetic look. Soshichi lingered in the back but did not leave, nosy, he wanted to know what was going on. Sayako swung by taking his hand in hers and shuffled out of the room, effectively pulling them out and shutting the door, he complied with no complaints. Nobody wanted a part of what was about to go down. That just left Akiko alone in the room staring wide eyed at her father. Thinking what she could have possibly done to upset him so much. 

~ ~ ~

Her father strode over and without any hesitation he pulled her into a bone crushing hug, pushing her face into the crook of his neck and holding her there. Akiko’s spine became stiff and rigid at the sudden gesture. Of course her dad was affectionate, but only when the occasion called for it. He was a stern and disciplined man, seeing him act with such assertive tenderness caused a sickly feeling of dread to coil in her stomach. Her heartbeat quickened at the feeling of his beating erratically against hers. Body heating up emulating the hot sticky sweat that leaked out of her dad’s pores. His grip on her let up once he heard her grunt, dead giveaway he quite literally squeezed the air out her lungs. Akiko pulled her head back, heart dropping as her weary eyes met his red rimmed ones, practically about to burst with anguish.

  “I love you Akiko. Your mom and I love you so… so much.” He rasped out, murmuring it into her ear. Something was very wrong... That word was hardly ever used, once when Sayako fell severely ill but even then it was so scarce. They obviously loved one another but it was shown through actions, not words. Akiko could count all the times she’s heard it on her fingers, but her mind was puzzled nobody was hurt? Nobody was sick? What could it be? 

  “Dad, what's wrong? Is mom ok? Akiko’s voice radiated concern, mustering up the most logical conclusion she could think of. Her father pulled her in close and in a hushed voice spoke with urgency. 

  “Akiko, listen to me, we don't have much time. There is a soldier in the store. He knows about that ability of yours and is going to take you to go study medicine with him.”

  “What!? I don’t want to-” 

  “Shh, let me finish, I’m not supposed to be telling you this but I have to.” His large calloused hands go up to cup her face rubbing soothing circles on her cheeks. “He came in demanding you. He knows us, he knows our family and we don’t know how. We don’t have a choice, believe me we did everything to get him to leave. I want you here, everyone wants you here but we don’t have a choice. But it's going to be ok. Your mom and I will take everyone to come see you and soon enough you’ll come back to us. You’re going to be ok. You’re smart and responsible. Don’t let anybody put their hands on you, or make you feel less than. Just do your best.” Akiko’s mind reeled helplessly at all of this frantic contradictory information forced on her. Who was this soldier? How does he know her family? Why does she have to go? She could feel her heart as it palpated so harshly against her ribcage she could see her own chest pulsate. 

  “H-How long will the school last?” She asked in a frozen daze, confusion muddling her thoughts. 

  “I don’t know…” They stood there within each other's embrace for a stolen moment; up until Mr Yosano’s face contorted into one of torment and regret. Soundlessly Tsuyoshi Yosano took his daughter’s small soft hand into his rough and ragged one and began to walk out of the room. Into the horrid future.

   Her trepid foot falls were so quiet as she dawdled behind her father’s wide body. What deeply unnerved her was how distraught he looked, how truly afraid he was. She’d never seen him like this, he was a force to be reckoned with. Seeing him so powerless had its effect on her. Her hand began to shake in his large one at what awaited her at the front of the shop. 

  Upon leaving the storage room and turning right, that's when she saw her mother shakily drinking a steaming cup of tea while leaning against the glass display. Turning her head the flowy dress of a pretty blonde woman caught her eye, she looked more decorated than dressed and straight ahead… There he was, the tall, lean, soldier in his dark uniform and two coal colored strands of hair framing his face. His posture was straight and sure without any stiffness, his chin and chest stuck out as his body loomed over the rest of them. He was huge in her eyes, almost double her size. She could barely make it up to his chest and in order to look up at his face she needed to tilt her head back. It was when she got closer she could make out the details whilst peeking out from behind her father’s back. Her breaths were short and distressed, flying in rapidly from her nose. She was frightened. She was uneasy. It was the way his neck stretched to the side in order to get a better view of her. The way she felt his intense gaze consuming her whole, dragging up and down her form, assessing her. That suspicious closed lip smile that radiated pleasure coupled with an all too knowing mirth in his eyes, eyes that promised nothing but fear. 

  “Hello Miss Yosano, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you. My name is Dr. Ougai Mori, but you can just call me Dr. Mori~” His voice had a pearly lilt to it, and his temperament contained an air of infatuation that made her shrink from behind. Stepping in closer ever so slightly, he extends a long arm giving her his white gloved hand to shake. However, Akiko was petrified in place, unmoving as her arms lay stiffly at her sides. Upon noticing her rejection of his greeting he couldn’t help but chuckle. Reminiscing on some of his old memories spent as a resident physician; terrified children clinging to their parents trying to avoid their doctors visit all together. He raises both his hands up in a disarming gesture, an effort to ease the tension. “Don’t worry, I’m not here to give you a checkup if that’s what you're worried about.” He says playfully. Akiko couldn’t keep her eyes from rolling at the comment, tightness ever so prominent in her shoulders. Noting the eye roll, he was pleased to see that even with all that fear she still exudes so much attitude. “I do believe some congratulations are in order, the people of the Japanese military have selected you to be drafted on the basis that you'll come and study medicine with me, practicing your skills, and your ability.” A brief pause overtook the room.

  “What if… What if I don't want to go?” Her quiet voice filled the silence slowly but surely finding the words to speak up to that man. 

  “Of course you will. You were personally selected for your talents and willingness to help others. Besides young lady, when the country calls you to action, you must rise to the occasion. You're no stranger to the fact that there's a war going on. We need your help. Rest assured you won't be in the middle of any fights. You’ll be learning the trade of healing. Something that’s natural for you. I must say I'm a little envious, something that took me a decade to learn you can do in seconds. What an incredible gift. Once we leave…” He pauses to check his watch to ensure they're on schedule. “I'll explain everything in greater detail.”

  “When do I get to go home?” Her question is quiet but firm. 

  “Go home hm?” He mused lightheartedly. “We haven't even gotten there and you're already thinking about coming back? There is so much to be done, but to answer your question you can return once I, your superior officer, officially declare that you have completed your service.” There was an unspoken way in the possessiveness of his eyes and the way they lingered on her that told everyone he had no intentions of letting her go. “Once we're alone on the plane later, I can tell you the specifics of how your routine and objectives will be laid out. I can’t do so now due to the confidentiality of this operation.”

  “Wait, we're leaving today!?” She steps forward so she is beside her father, his firm hold still protectively wrapped around hand. Mori nodded with absoluteness. It should’ve been obvious to her but with how hasteful and frantic her father was it was difficult to understand. All of this was difficult to understand. God she felt so stupid. In her puzzled state she thought perhaps he just wanted to meet before the day she actually had to go, if only. She stole a glance at her parents to see their expressions, horrified to find the pure fear in them as they agreed. If it was just military schooling why do they look so distraught? Why does this soldier know about her ability when her father always told her to keep it a secret? She never used it in public. Her mind was a hurricane, chaotic and in disorder. There were too many things that didn’t line up, the way her siblings were ushered away, the soldier’s seemingly docile disposition, her parents distress, the vague implications of what she’ll be doing once she’s there, and the urgency of it all. Her brain was perceiving this array of unsettling details but what she lacked at her tender age was the cognitive ability to process all of it. Her eyes sharpened, narrowing at the force above them, heart thumping angrily. They weren’t telling her something... That conclusion made her fists shake with frustration. Especially because this was her life they were altering. She would be the one going all the way to the military leaving everything she ever knew and loved behind.   

“I can see that you feel a little apprehensive, but if you could see it as-”

  “No! No, I don’t want to go with you!” Her voice started to raise in volume. She was certainly nervous but with her life being tampered with she couldn’t bring herself to be mindful and polight. “There’s something that nobody is telling me and that’s not fair. You don’t get to just walk in here and take me away! You don’t get to pull me away from my life! It’s mine and I don’t care about the military or their rules! I’m not going, plain and simple. I have better things to be doing than to be going with a liar like you!” Akiko huffed out exasperated, placing her free hand on her hip and pointing her nose in the air. She had no proof of his lie but there was something in the manner of his tone that conveyed something disingenuous. She was frustrated and over it, if her parents weren’t going to say something to this pathetic soldier she would. She couldn't fathom why this guy had her father all scared, she’s seen him chase away far scarier men. She could see that he was tall but the look of him didn’t appear to be too threatening, just weird and creepy. What was that thing her dad just told her to do, right not let anyone treat her lowly; with the way this obnoxious soldier talked down to her she might as well practice those skills now. 

  Simultaneously, both her parents both gasped in unison. Mr Yosano felt a twinge of pride at his daughter’s ability to advocate for herself but quickly went back to concern as he didn’t want the situation to escalate. Maybe he had to hold his tongue but it was comforting to hear his girl share the same sentiment. Mrs Yosano immediately ran to Akiko’s side, mouth agape, quickly clinging to her right shoulder for both protection and support. She was beyond terrified because she’d seen what this awful man was capable of.

  “I apologize on her behalf! She doesn’t quite understand what is happening and she’s very afraid. Normally, she would never act like this.” She stammers out panic stricken. Akiko angrily looks at her mom not appreciating the way she spoke for her but decides it's better not to say anything. 

  “Such fierce resolve~” Mori quietly let out an almost inaudible hum of delight placing his knuckles on his cheek. Her mother’s heart dropped barely hearing it herself. Did this grown man just swoon at her eleven year old daughter? That couldn’t be what she just heard. The Gods were going to have to give her strength to get through this. Every primal instinct in her body was telling her to rip him to pieces. So concerned about how the other men would react to a young girl in the barracks she hadn’t had the chance to vet out the man who would be taking her child away. Akiko looked over confoundedly, she was repulsed by the gratified expression on his face. 

  She was even more exquisite up close. How long had he waited for this moment? He was simply elated, even with his soldierly restraint he found it difficult to suppress his urge to beam. She clearly inherited that temper from her father, such a waste on a man like him but it suited young Akiko just fine. Mori was completely captivated by her vibrant violet eyes transfixed on scowling at him, all this attention, just on him. He could get used to that. She had her fire, fire in which he would take great pleasure in subduing and controlling. In multiple different facets, she was the perfect addition. He knew they would do much together. 

  “Unfortunately dear girl, the decision has already been made. You will be coming with me today. Your parents have already signed off on your departure.” He wished he had a photo of her face, so shocked and flushed, poor thing, can’t even realize the power she holds. Akiko threw her head in both directions, double taking what she had just heard the soldier correctly. She needed to see it in the eyes of her parents to confirm if this was correct.

  “You signed me away! H-How could you!? You were the ones who said you didn’t want me to go!” Her voice cracked in hurt and betrayal, she was crumbling down. Hot devastated tears sprang from her eyes at the sight of her parents. All that fuss about wanting to keep her here and they willingly signed her away! Her heartbreak was so tangible it looked like she was suffering an actual heart condition with the way she gripped her chest. She despised crying and despite her best efforts to stifle it, her wails only grew louder as she processed the ramifications of this. “Why? Was I not good enough? Did I not do a good job, is that why you want me gone?” After everything that she did, why wasn’t she enough? The reality was that she was too great, too young. 

  If Akiko Yosano was crumbling, then her parents were decimated. 

  “Akiko it’s not like that at all! I promise you we did not have the choice you think we did! You’re an excellent daughter and we are proud to be your parents!” Her father could barely get his words out at the sight of his daughter reduced to this. His face contorted in agony knowing the reason as to why he couldn’t answer. Mr Yosano contained nothing but raw hatred for that wretched excuse of a soldier. Vilifying them like this in front of their own daughter, as if they’re the evil ones. Normally any child would feel a swell of pride at the words her father just spoke, especially coming from a man like him, but with the circumstance in which they were delivered Akiko couldn’t consider them as real. He tugged her closer by the hand, trying to wrap her in a hug, not letting go. She resisted though, looking up at him with tear heavy lashes. 

  “If there was a choice then why do you want me gone?” All her mother could do was quietly match her daughter’s tears. Hesitantly reaching out a hand to stroke her back. Her chest felt like it was being impaled by blazing hot blades. Her ribs gave off the sensation of stabbing and sharp excruciating agony as they splintered in her chest piercing her heart and inner organs alike. Akiko wanted answers, deserved answers but how could she tell her? How as a mother could she tell her child that she failed to honor her most basic job to protect and care for her? To tell her that she’s being sent away in order to save her siblings? That she was essentially an inevitable lost cause regardless. Satoko Yosano couldn’t care less about dying herself as long as it meant her children were well. Should an all mighty higher being come down and demand her life in exchange for her child’s she’d do it instantly but there were more babies of hers at stake this time. Above all else, how could she ever break the news that despite what they decided they could not save their darling Akiko from this fate, from that sick, sick man.

  Mori found that this would be the proper moment to intervene; his previous comment having done its desired effect. It will be easier to adjust her to the military’s routine with the rift in trust between her and her parents. Despite their desperate pleas with their daughter, their lack of an explanation will cause a seed of doubt to grow. Taking a single step forward he bends down at the hip, not to meet her at eye level, but just so he's looming over them.

  “Don't be that way, it’s quite the opposite. Your parents are doing you a great service by sending you to study with me. While your classmates will be learning the base curriculum, you’ll be participating in the saving of lives. It’s an honor to become a doctor, for both your parents and for yourself.” His expression suddenly became more serious and commanding. “You say you don’t care about the military so would you rather have soldiers die? Never to return to their families? Is that what you want?” There was a cold, disorienting silence with such a resounding effect, everyone could hear their own hearts pounding in their ears. Her face was swollen and irritable, after what just transpired between her parents and the furious rubbing she had just done to rid herself of those troublesome tears; she was left in a volatile state emotionally. All Akiko could do was swallow the thick saliva that lumped in her throat. It's not that she wanted people to die, and she definitely wanted to do right by her country but from the way his voice held a level of expectation it felt illegal to have wants of her own. She was genuinely tired of this man and his seemingly never-ending ability to spew out jargon and philosophies.

  “Don’t-” Her father started but before he could even articulate the rest of his sentence Mori held up a hand to silence him. His detached eyes continued staring into hers without breaking contact. 

  “Miss Yosano, when your commanding officer gives you a task, you complete it. When an order is prompted to you, you obey it and when a question is asked of you, answer it. Now, I will ask you again, do you want to be responsible for the death of soldiers in our nation? Do you care so little for this country that you’re ok with being the reason their blood stains your hands? Is that what you want?” Though he wasn’t yelling, the cadence in his voice was urgent. It came out harsher than he intended but it was a necessary evil. He hoped he could ease up a bit once she understood her place in things. It would be no fun otherwise.

  There were tremors of rage all over her body. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. How could he get her so wrong? Clearly he had no idea who she was as a person. She lived for helping people, but how else was she supposed to express her concerns without sounding like some ungrateful brat? Heaven forbid she wasn’t ready to drop everything and join a war at the ripe age of eleven. She’ll set him straight. Pushing past her crowding parents she strode right up to him bridging the gap. She jerked her head upwards to glare at him indignantly, wanting to face him head on.

  “Of course not! I love my country, it’s my home! I wouldn't mind helping the soldiers but I’m sick of you making it sound like I'm a bad person! I’m not!” Slamming a hand over her heart as frustrated tears pricked her eyes. “I’m not a traitor, I didn’t choose this. How was I supposed to see this coming? I never want anyone to die. If I have to help soldiers stay alive I-I can do that.” Upon the realization of it a wave of deflation and dread swam in her insides. There is no good excuse she could possibly have to justify apathy to the fighting soldiers in her country. No matter what she could try, nothing seemed like it would work. Her own parents even signed her away for goodness sake. “If my ability can be used to save them… then I guess it's alright.” She muttered out defeated. 

  “Excellent~ I'm glad we're in agreement.” Without faltering he reached out and encapsulated her wrist in his hand, the one that connected her hand to her heart. “We have a fight to catch dear, I think it's best to get going, don't you hm?” His repugnant smile juxtaposed the vice-like grip he had on her small wrist.

  Shoving past her worried parents to stand right before him might have been one of the worst decisions she ever made. 

  ~ ~ ~ 

  Akiko felt a dense ball hit the pit of her stomach, curdling all its contents inside. She went wide-eyed in shock. She should have been more careful, she should have stayed where it was safe. So caught up in proving him wrong she failed to realize it was all a ploy to get her to charge at him. She fell for it and strode right into his trap. 

  “Huh!? Wait, we can’t go yet I’m not ready!” She stammered out in disarray. 

  “Nonsense, you have everything you’ll need already at the base. The only thing that’s missing is you.” Mori said, chuckling to himself a little. She began to tug at his grip insisting he let go. 

  “No that’s not what I mean! Hold on, I didn’t get to say goodbye to my siblings! They don’t know! I can’t just leave them here without saying goodbye!” The tears that had dotted her eyes broke free like a flood breaking through a dam. 

  Everything was racing, it was hard to breathe despite the amount of air she was heaving in rapidly, she could feel her heart rate spike at the predicament she found herself in. Her parents' involvement in this was one thing but this man not letting her see her siblings again, she couldn't tolerate it. Yes they bickered and fought but in the end of the day they were her best friends, her family. They took turns bothering and taking care of one another. They celebrated each other's happiness and felt each other’s pain. How could she bear giving them this kind of pain when she wasn’t ready for it herself? In this life it was just them. They didn’t have the blessing of a large extended family, so they had to stick together, to build their own village, it would be just them when their parents inevitably pass. She was the eldest daughter after all. Who would look after them when their parents were too busy running the store? Who will keep everyone together when they’re gone? Then a devastating thought rattled into her head: they won’t have her ability… What if something happened and she wasn’t there? Earlier this month Soshichi had an accident, he was such an energetically troublesome little boy... She would never forgive herself if something happened and she wasn’t there. Her head began to pound from all these nightmares plaguing her thoughts.  

  “Surely she could go in for a short goodbye, even if it’s quick?” Her mother implored in an attempt to find some common ground as her and her husband approached their daughter. Mori shot them a warning glare, his eyes telling them not to come forward. Lest they want the repercussions that follow those actions. He breathed out a tired sigh and shook his head. He was disappointed, hoping the girl would forget about them while he swept her away from the chaos he created. 

  “You'll write to them.” It was a blatant lie as his true intention is to keep her so incredibly busy with the war and her ability that gradually she’ll lose the will to keep writing to them. Why would she want to trouble her family with such violence and agony? It would be for the best to leave her family out of it; they live in a different world than she ever will “Besides, you wouldn't want to stress them out with this would you? Your siblings are rather young and I don't think they'd understand the responsibilities you have to look after. There's no need to feel this way, you're acting like you’ve been selected to become a hitobashira. What you have been chosen for is an enormous privilege, all great people make sacrifices.” 

  “Well I’m not that great! I don’t care how smart you think you are but you need to get that out of your fat head!” She shrieked at her limit, sobs racked her small frame as she shook with affliction. She was incredibly overwhelmed and far too exhausted: it was 5:47 am after all. Her head was throbbing and her throat burned from dehydration. 

  She was writhing in his hold, twisting and squirming in an effort to free herself. Deep down subconsciously she knew that this wasn't going to achieve anything but at the same time what else could she do to show how upset she was. In a situation where her choice was never an option this was the only thing she could do. As much as she felt that this was such an embarrassing display she couldn’t help or control anymore. Although she loathed to admit he had a point. She wouldn’t want to trouble them with this. Was it that selfish of her to need them too, to rely on them for some support in the same way she would give them reassurance and comfort? The very thought of never seeing them again is what kept reducing her to this state, that is what lit the fire in her soul to keep resisting. 

  “Don't be afraid.” The first thing Akiko felt was a new pair of hands holding on to her left arm. When she turned her head she found that blonde woman, Elise, at her side. She winced at Elise's smile, so sweetly artificial it was sickening. She tried to tug away but with no success, grunting and breathing in sharply as she sniffled. 

  “Miss Yosano.” His voice was devoid of all emotion, serious and uncaring. The moment her eyes met his, she cowered at the alarming feeling that engulfed her. Something far inside told her to stop struggling before things got any worse. Mori doesn't mind a little bit of a challenge but this was becoming excessive. 

  The tears had traveled their way into the crevice of her nose, down the corner of her mouth, and off her reddened irritated face. With his face now softening, he released her wrist and unfastened the button to his left breast pocket, pulling out a white handkerchief. Wordlessly he began to languidly wipe down the planes of her supple face. The swift change in his demeanor gave her whiplash. She could not stop herself from reflexively recoiling at his touch, vapidly turning her face away in one last rejection but to no avail. It didn’t deter him in the slightest; he was diligent and persistent in cleaning up the tears that streaked around her deep frown, making sure to pinch her nose at the end to capture any wandering snot that may have dripped out. 

  “Come now, don't ruin your face. I hate seeing cute little girls like you cry~ Let's focus on what’s ahead.” Mori folded the cloth before pocketing it, putting his hand on the small of her back and Elise held Akiko’s hand. Both nudging her out the front door. She only had seconds left as she began to unwillingly walk out. She whipped her head over her shoulder and looked back at her weeping parents. 

  “Mom, Dad… I’m sorry for yelling, I love you both so much, and please! Please tell Haruki, Sayako and Soshichi that I love them too and that I’m sorry I couldn’t tell them that myself.” She could barely choke out the words but she’d never forgive herself if she left without saying anything even if that’s not everything she wanted to say. There were too many things to say, but it was all she could come up with. 

  “We can only love you more Akiko!” Her mother cried. “I promise to tell them your message!” Satoko Yosano reached out her hand gripping at the air, already mourning the fact that she'll never get to hug her eldest, touch her first baby ever again. 

  “J-Just promise to come back to us Akiko.” Her father coughed in a poor attempt to hide the emotions in his voice. All the stress could not be good for his health.

  “I promise.” Her voice lost its volume as they stepped out of the threshold of the family run yokan shop. That cheery bell signifying their devastating exit. 

  There is a thick and painful silence as the ringing of the bell ceases.

  …

  Nothing could have stopped Satoko Yosano’s cries. She’s in her husband’s embrace, arms intertwined amongst one another. She buried her face in his shoulder using him as a way to support herself upright. 

   “What kind of parents are we? We don’t deserve forgiveness!” She gasped out between sobs. He couldn’t even bring himself to answer, too restrained by his own self hatred at being incapable at protecting his child. All he could was hold his wife, the feeling being the only thing grounding him. How would they cope with this irreparable loss? Their grief was a gaping wound that would only grow, festering with rot.  

  Haruki had his arms wrapped around Sayako and Soshichi. All of them were huddled in the back of the kitchen terrified. There was an immense amount of muffled yells and cries coming from the central part of the store. As well as a voice they couldn’t recognize. Haruki couldn’t even put together a picture of what was going on out there. Completely unaware that the family he loved so much was about to break beyond repair. 

  Unbeknownst to the Yosano siblings, their older sister was gone forever…

  ~ The child has inevitably captured the lovely butterfly, its wings desperately beating down on the glass enclosure of the jar. He made plans to pin down its radiant wings and mount it for display. His prize, his possession. For it was only fair, he went through all the trouble and effort of catching it himself. That poor creature, there will be no mercy. Its fate eternally sealed by the larger hands that plucked it out of its life and into the jar.~

If you made it this far I love you I love you I love you😘💖!!! Ngl I made this an extra chapter because I don’t like the look when the notes section is too long at the bottom. Anyway you’re here you made it!! Yosano nation how we feeling Yosano nation? Meet the reason for why studying for my biology final was so excruciating. This fic was banging its fists manically in my fragile brain. Brace yourself I’m a big yapper and I’m silly. 

AUGH this concept breaks my heart and I crave to know every detail about what Yosano went through during her time in the military. If you guys want more stuff like that let me know. Also if you guys have other fics like this please drop the link. I hope Mori suffers for all of eternity <3 Although I will say writing smart people is both really fun and also the very worst. It forces you to think like them and part of the reason this took forever is because I procrastinated the Mori character study for so long. Owie I think all the research I had to do for this fic formed a new wrinkle in my brain!!! Child psychology, Japanese penal codes and yokan recipes for example😩

Guys I told my friends this was going to be a short little 2k-3k max one shot and uhh. That did not happen… I also told them to give me a week deadline to finish it, that was on June 7th🤡🤡🤡 In my defense it spiraled out of control it became all about what the fic wanted not what I wanted!!! AND to top it all off I had a very typical Ao3 writer excuse for not finishing on time so allow me to formally apologize below. 

To my precious darling readers,

Please accept my cordial and humble apologies for the tardiness of this Akiko Yosano backstory fan fiction belonging to the Bungo Stray Dogs Fandom. As I was laboring over the creation of this written work I had failed to recognize that the day of my tooth implantation had arrived. I found myself numb to the heavens as the Periodontist drilled a screw into my jawbone and a nurse tenderly held my face to keep my head from reverberating about. Due to this long awaited procedure I was rather mentally delayed for the first few days. I assure you such an inconvenience will not occur again unless all my teeth begin to fight back and disown me. I once again apologize for any inconvenience or distress this may have caused. 

Love your #1 Yosano stan, Angel

Hehehe since I was specifically told to rest for two weeks straight it gave me an ample amount of writing time. It’s never not gonna be funny to me that I was on painkillers while writing the ending of this fic, meaning I was physically incapable of feeling pain while I put you all through that.🤭 I’m not a sadist buuuut I hope you felt things. Like pain for example 😃

And for the far future since school is starting again😬 I’m looking for hot beta readers in my area (aka this side of the internet). However I have no clue how to swing that so I’m putting this here dm me if you’re interested. I’m looking for someone who has the time, better grammar than me(at least decent and can spot my fumbles), and can handle heavy angst should I feel like taking out my problems on fictional people again.😉👍Also I can’t pay you babes but that’s ok we do it for the love of the craft. 

I genuinely want to publish a novel one day and fanfic really is the best practice. It’s not my first time writing fanfics but it is my first time posting so if you wanna give me constructive criticism or if I’m missing a tag please let me know. Just be nice to me😭 I really wanna hear what you guys have to say. Especially about my favorite girl Yosano who did nothing wrong ever actually!!! Comment don’t be shy I’m very soft and squishy I promise. Even if it’s just a keyboard smash a little goes a long way:) have an immaculate day, night, limbo or ascension until the next time I can’t hold my rot in🥹

[itzmoonies]

I have a very sad hc but HEAR ME OUT

Okay so I saw a post that spoke about how Dazai didn't show any emotions when Mori killed the former boss right in front of him. Dazai was a child. Seeing a murder for the first time and… Nothing. No expression. Just acceptance. As if his body is here but not his mind. He's dissociating.

Look at that look. He's not focused. He's just looking at whatever is happening.

So what if it happens each time he commits a crime? What if each time he kills someone, he's not fully realising his actions and only realizes it later, but it doesn't hit him so hard because it happened slowly.

Well, I headcanon that one time, Dazai killed a bunch of innocent civilians for X or Y reasons. Mori told him to. So he did it. But he usually didn't kill innocent people. Usually it's the mafia's ennemis. So the realisation hit him right as everyone's already dead. He's there, surrounded by corpses. He's the reason they're dead. His hands is covered in blood. The realisation hit him so hard he thought he was gonna vomit (he didn't).

Very joyful 🫶🏻‼️‼️

[justsigma-bsd]

Everything Seems Small (From High Up)

Basically what happened after Sigma left the note and before Chuuya showed up.

Also me trying my hand at a different writing style-

TW for survivors guilt (I think), implied/mentioned starvation (it's small but there), a lot of injuries being mentioned and their causes.

@fukuzawa-armeddaddyagency may I perhaps interest you in seeing the aftermath of "lost one son to save another"? (ngl it would've probably happened anyway)

He doesn't remember how he managed to get there. The entire way is a blur. He doesn't remember how he managed to climb down, just that he somehow managed to slide down the gutter without falling.

In hindsight, he's more surprised he managed to hold on. His hand and arm ached from the effort of carrying his own weight, which the whole incident had reduced by quite a bit, but he barely cared. He just prayed that neither stab nor bite opened, and went on his way. 

Sure, both are wrapped tightly in bandages, along with pretty much most of his limbs, leaving pretty much all of the bites and stabs and cuts he'd endured hidden from prying eyes, but it'd be a pain to rewrap them all again... and he doesn't want to bother Chuuya with this. 

It's his own fault anyway, he dug his own grave, and now he may as well lie in it. 

His legs ached all the way, but he barely paid it any mind. He just walked and walked and walked, until he barely even knew where he turned left and where he turned right. He just had his destination in mind.

And his legs still ache, an hour later, when he's finally sitting where he'd wanted to go. 

He stares down, and for a moment he remembers falling from Sky Casino. Remembers the terror of thinking he'd die. Remembers the air whipping past his face, howling in his ears as if he'd been caught in a hurricane.

His legs, aching and stinging from bites that hopefully haven't started bleeding again, dangle down over the edge. He fidgets with his hands, plays around with the bandages wrapped around one of them. The bite underneath hurts as well. 

Everything hurts, if he's honest with himself. 

His legs hurt, courtesy of the dogs who'd dug their fangs into his flesh. 

His hand hurts, from when another dog bit it and dragged him back into his room- back to Mori. 

His face and arm and leg hurt from the cuts and stabs Other Kris had left on him. 

His knee hurts, and he can't remember that one clearly, but he thinks a bullet grazed it. 

His back hurts, from when he'd fallen down the stairs.  

His throat hurts, and he wishes desperately for the bruises to fade so he can stop wearing turtlenecks. 

He lets out a sigh and watches the city. From so high up, everything looks so... small. Insignificant. He knows his friends are down there. His family. His love... yet part of him think that maybe, just maybe, they'd be better off if he stayed here. 

He'd left a note. Granted, a very vague note, but he did... god, who was he kidding? Everyone's a mess right now. Everyone's in various stages of grief and dealing with it better or worse. Everyone's mourning, and what is he doing? Running from his problems. 

He lets out a breath, tears gathering in his eyes. 

It's his fault they're mourning. What was it that Fukuzawa had said? Ah, right. He'd sent Dazai to get him out. He'd weighed his options and lost one son to save another. 

He feels like screaming. Like crying. Throwing something, breaking something, tearing something apart and crying over that as well. 

It's his fault, start to finish. 

He'd started all of this with petty revenge that had been entirely pointless, and to what has it led? To Dazai dying. 

Fukuzawa should've made the right call. He should've left him to rot instead of sending help. He wasn't worth another's life. Hell, he isn't even an actual person- just some writing on a page. 

Karma was right. He's useless. He's useless and incompetent and he still doesn't know the reason- but he can see why he'd hate him. He wonders, silently, how many people hate him and are just too polite to say it to his face. 

It should've been him who died. Would've been better for everyone... or no, scratch that. He really just should've stayed in the desert. Less pain and suffering for everyone involved. He should've stayed away after Meursault, at the very least. 

... well, too late to prevent that mistake from happening. 

So he sits, high up above the city, and watches. Watches while everything looks so small and distant insignificant, and he silently wonders why he ever thought he could be a part of that without ruining it. 

[darling--angst]

Masterlist

Tagging @kolyakisses for letting me borrow his wonderful format

ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY

Dazai Osamu

[Fic] One last drink

[Fic] Rainfall and tears

[Fic] "Goodbye Osamu."

[Hcs] Dazai arguing with his s/o

[Fic] "Somewhere in these eyes I'm on your side"

[Fic] "Cold Sheets.. Where's my love?"

Ranpo Edogawa

[Hcs] Ranpo meeting Fukuzawa's child

[Fic] "Tell me baby, why do you seems so blue?"

[Fic] "I used to like smoking to stop all the thinking"

PORT MAFIA

Chuuya Nakahara

[Var] BSD men proposing to their shy s/o

[Fic] "You promised.."

[Fic] "When he calls me pretty I feel like somebody"

Mori Ogai

[Fic] "Somewhere in these eyes I'm on your side"

DECAY OF ANGELS

Nikolai Gogol

[Fic] The "God", the Masochist and the Crazy Scientist

[Var] Yan! Doa and reader who's two faced—Highschool au

Fyodor Dostoevsky

[Fic] The "God", the Masochist and the Crazy Scientist

[Var] Yan! Doa and reader who's two faced—Highschool au

Sigma

[Var] Yan! Doa and reader who's two faced—Highschool au

HUNTING DOGS

Tecchuo Suihiro

[Hcs] Affections + Tecchuo

[Var] BSD men proposing to their shy s/o

[Var] Yan! Hunting Dogs + cursing them

[Hcs] Tecchuo + S/o's little sibling

Tachihara Michizō

[Fic] The Price of Loving You

[Var] Yan! Hunting Dogs + cursing them

Jouno Saigiku

[Var] Yan! Hunting Dogs + cursing them

Teruko Okura

[Var] Yan! Hunting Dogs + cursing them

[Series]

[Pt.1] "I'm only a fool, am I not?"

[Pt.2] The Faint Sound of Rain

©darling--angst — do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated

[slugidiot]

Apesar de Você - Chico Buarque

Translation: You will pay and it will be doubled... || ...for every tear shed in this pain of mine. || But despite you... || ...Tomorrow will be another day.

[frankenjoly]

No good in goodbyes

fukumori + things you said i wish you hadn’t & after it was over

“And so, it’s over.” Such words weren’t a declaration, but sounded resigned instead; a sentiment which Fukuzawa could very much relate to for he was feeling the exact same. It was indeed over.

The fight. Their partnership. Their relationship.

(Not like the feelings weren’t still there, but how to make it work, when neither he nor Mori would back down when it came to their stances right then? When he couldn’t look away from that specific matter? When, even if he did, something else would come along eventually?)

“It’s over.” Fukuzawa repeated, in a tone that perfectly mirrored Mori’s. At that point, Ranpo would have managed to leave the building with Yosano, so there was no use in continuing anyway. Not when his now ex-partner couldn’t get to the girl, not when they were both exhausted, physically and emotionally. “Sorry.” Not about the choice he had made, but how things had turned out more in general.

Even if something like that counted as foretold right from the start.

“Stop.” Mori said, speaking to him but staring away and at Elise, who was now ‘turning’ back from combat mode into her usual disposition. Her demeanor, though, kept being somewhat serious, fitting for the situation.

(That felt even worse.)

“I–” Impassible as he may look, there was no missing how Fukuzawa’s voice faltered. “Goodbye.”

There might not be tears yet or when he finally turned around to leave, not until late at night, after the whole weight of it all fully kicked in. But there was a lump in his throat, and what seemed like an invisible heavy grip on his chest through it all.

And it showed, damn if it showed.

(Also on ao3.)

[crimsonwolf715]

Burnout

(TW: mentions of Dazai forcing himself to throw up, minor blood, minor injury, fatigue, and overwork. Things you need to know: Meow meowing something off the table is a reference to how cats swipe things off of tables, but Dazai does it. He’s not a cat, but he sure acts like it sometimes.)

Dazai walks into the conference room where Chuuya’s waiting for Kouyou so they can have lunch. 

“Cancel your plans. We have another training to do,” Dazai says. 

“Oh no, my lunch. What’ve we got?” Chuuya asks, leaning back in his chair. 

“Mori’s got us doing another stupid training exercise. On the positive side, Elise threw an entire pitcher of fruit punch on Mori so he had to go shower and change before he takes us, so we have like fifteen minutes because there’s no way that man showers properly.” 

Chuuya just sits there for a minute, then hums. “I guess that’s fair. Do you have any idea what kind of bullshit this training is going to entail this time?” 

Dazai nods. “Something about infiltrating and you throwing something. That last part may not be accurate because I stopped listening after he complimented Elise for the fourth time and said that you’re ‘incredibly powerful’. Which wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t say everything like he’s the world’s biggest creep.” 

“Yeah, I’ve always had an odd need for validation, but I hate when he compliments me. Anyone else, and I normally take it well, but it’s just the way he says it.” 

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t really like compliments from anyone aside from three people, but Mori gives me the heebie-jeebies. Anyway, we should change the topic before he comes in. He’ll make us do more stupid shit if he hears us making fun of him. How have you been since we last talked? I know it’s only been four hours, but I’m curious.” 

“Well, I wasn’t paying attention earlier, and smacked into a door frame. I didn’t sleep last night, and I still haven’t gotten coffee. Oh, and to make it better, I apologized to the door frame too. What about you?” 

“I saw Ango earlier and called him Mom. Saw Odasaku and luckily didn’t embarrass myself. Interrogated someone who defected and ruined a perfectly good shirt. Oh, and then Mori told me we were going to this stupid training.” 

“Sounds like the ruin of a perfectly good day. I was looking forward to having lunch with Kouyou, but here we are. Speaking of which, I need to text her.” 

“I have to call Odasaku and tell him I will not be up for going for drinks later. I’m already tired and sore, and we haven’t even done anything yet.” 

Chuuya laughs. “Yeah, fair. I’ve been working a lot recently. It feels like no matter how much I do, there’s always more to get done.” 

“Yeah, it sucks.” 

Mori walks in with Elise right behind him. 

“Hi, boys,” Elise says, waving. 

“Let’s go, you two. We have things to do and we’re behind schedule.” 

“Why are we behind schedule?” Chuuya asks, smiling innocently. 

“It’s not relevant. I got held back, so we need to get moving. Dazai, what are you doing?” Mori asks. 

Dazai, who’s half under the table, answers, “I’m getting my pen. I dropped it while I was spinning it on the table.” 

“Why do you care if you dropped your pen? It’s not like you’re not used to making a mess, and not cleaning it up,” Chuuya says, smirking. 

“Well, I like this pen. I’ve got it, so we’re good to go. And Chibi, you make a ton of messes you don’t have to clean up. Get off your high horse. Oh wait, you’re so short that you couldn’t get on a horse.” 

“I’ll have you know that I know how to ride a horse. Also, normally when I make messes, it’s your fault. At least I’m not showing up at your house, and throwing drinks on the floor. Or how about that time when you purposely threw up on my couch?” 

“I didn’t purposely throw up. I absolutely hate throwing up. I don’t normally throw drinks on your floor. Only sometimes.” 

“First of all, sticking your fingers down your throat counts as throwing up on purpose. Secondly, you constantly meow meow drinks off of my table when I’m not doing what you want me to. You’re like an unruly bitch.” 

“First thing, don’t remember it, didn’t happen. Second thing, I like meow meowing things off tables. You shouldn’t leave drinks unattended if you don’t want them on the floor…” 

“Stop it, you two,” Mori says forcefully. “Let’s go, we have things to do.” 

“Fine, but it is still not my fault that you have the manners of a goat.” 

“How dare you, Chuuya!” 

“Stop fighting,” Mori says. “If you two don’t stop, you’ll be working until dawn.” 

“Eww, fine.” 

“You weren’t planning on doing that again anyway? That’s new,” Chuuya says, shrugging. 

“If you two behave, you can go home at five. Does that motivate you to behave?” Mori asks. 

“I don’t know what time it is now, so I don’t know if that’s motivating.” 

“Yes, because I haven’t gone home before nine in like two weeks, so I don’t really care what time it is now. I will not punch Dazai in the face… probably.” 

“Yeah, don’t punch me in the face, Chuuya.” 

“That’s what I just said. You have got to put your listening ears on.” 

“Sorry, Mom. I will.” 

“Bitch.” 

Mori takes the two of them to a car and they drive to an empty area in the middle of the woods. 

“There’s a base about two miles walking distance from here. Get there, get the intel from their computers, then deal with the base itself. I don’t want any trace of it left, boys. Do you understand?” Mori asks, holding out a data stick. 

Dazai takes the data stick. “I guess.” 

“Wait, you don’t want any trace left of what? The building, the organization, or the computers?” 

“The building and anything in it. This is the only base we currently know about, so this is the current target. Clear enough?” 

“Rubble and everything?” Chuuya asks.

“Chuuya Nakahara, I clearly do not mean that.” 

Dazai starts laughing. 

“It wouldn’t be the first unreasonable thing you’ve asked us to do. You once asked me if I could disintegrate things with my ability if I tried hard enough.” 

“One time you asked us to take out seven buildings in one night,” Dazai adds. “While we did manage it, it’s still unreasonable.” 

“Knock it off. Go, you have work to do. Come back here when you’re done and we’ll go back to base for paperwork.” 

“You know what would motivate me? Not having to do paperwork.” 

“I’ll do it, but you can’t go home until I’m done.” 

“How would I annoy you the whole time if I went home?” Dazai asks. 

“I would be annoyed the whole time if you did go home,” Chuuya replies. 

“Fair enough. We’ll head out now, Mori. You look like you’re gonna strangle us.” 

“I’m not, just go,” Mori replies. 

“Ok, we’re leaving. No need to tell us again.” 

So the two start the long walk to the base. It turned out to be a four mile walk instead of a two mile walk and the base is heavily guarded. 

“Would you look at that? So many new friends to murder,” Chuuya says, motioning towards the base. 

“Yay, murder,” Dazai replies. “I don’t think I brought enough bullets for all of our new friends. I only have like two magazines.” 

“Good thing I don’t need bullets.” 

“Yeah, that is a good thing. You up for a long, drawn out fight? We haven’t slept in like a week.” 

Chuuya laughs, though it does sound a bit hysteric. “I don’t really have a choice. Let’s just get this over with so I can go home.” 

“Okay, guns blazing it is.” 

Chuuya and Dazai storm the base. The two of them deal with the goons until they find the computer room. Dazai downloads the data from the computers while Chuuya continues dealing with the guards, who seem to be never ending. Dazai finishes up and then throws the computer on the floor. 

“Alright, we can go,” Dazai says. 

They make it back to the loading bay and Dazai notices a box labeled explosives. 

“Hey, wanna have some fun with this?” Dazai asks. 

“Yeah, sure. Whatever you want,” Chuuya replies, looking down at his bloody knuckles. 

“I’ll bandage up your hands when we get back to base.” 

Chuuya uses his ability to move the box of explosives to the middle of the loading bay. Once they get far enough away, Dazai blows it up. The building explodes with much more ferocity than Dazai anticipated, making him laugh. 

“Can we rest here for a minute?” Dazai asks. “I literally feel like my legs are gonna give out on me if I keep going.” 

“Yeah, we can take a minute. I’m going to pick the glass out of my hands. All of the things for that man to have hit me with, it had to be a glass bottle,” Chuuya mutters, dropping onto the grass. 

Dazai sits down, then lays down on the grass. 

“Oh, I’m gonna kill Mori,” Dazai mutters. “I’m fine with working a lot, but I told him that I’m not cut out for this much physical labor.” 

Chuuya scoffs, his eyes still trained on his hands as he pulls glass slivers out of his bleeding knuckles. “You’re such a princess.” 

Dazai sighs. “Maybe a little, but this is more work than anybody should be doing. We’re being abused, Chuuya.” 

Chuuya laughs. “Yeah, well, at least no one’s beating you. It could be worse. I could smack you every time you say something stupid.” 

“Please don’t. I’d have way too many bruises and Ango asks way too many questions.” 

“Boo hoo. I wouldn’t do that anyway.” 

“Yeah, it’s because we’re friends.” 

Mori’s car drives up and Mori gets out. 

“What is taking you two so long…? What are you doing on the ground?” Mori asks. 

“I cannot move,” Dazai answers. “I’m exhausted.” 

“I’m taking glass out of my hands, and it’s taking a long time, because my nails are so short they’re practically non-existent,” Chuuya says, still without looking up. 

“Get up,” Mori demands. “I’ll get the glass out of your hands in the car. Dazai, get up. We have things to do.” 

“What things do we have to do? I thought it was just paperwork, and then we could go home,” Chuuya says, dragging himself to his feet. 

“Yes, the paperwork. Kouyou also requested your presence but I told her she can wait until tomorrow, so you’ll have that to look forward to, Chuuya.” 

Dazai forces himself to his feet. “Wow, just paperwork and then we go home. I’m gonna do the paperwork though because Chibi’s knuckles are all messed up.” 

“I don’t care which one of you does the paperwork, as long as it gets done,” Mori replies. 

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna need stitches in this one spot. I’m still bleeding. You’re definitely going to have to do the paperwork,” Chuuya says. 

The drive back to the Mafia’s base is quiet. Mori deals with Chuuya’s injuries while Dazai does paperwork. 

“Do I label this as training or as a mission?” Dazai asks. “You said it was training, but it definitely felt like a mission.” 

“Training,” Mori answers. “Elise, grab the bandages and wrap up Chuuya’s hands.” 

Elise walks over and grabs the bandages, then hands them to Mori. “You do it.” 

Mori sighs, then takes the bandages and wraps up Chuuya’s hands. “There. As usual, I can’t give you any meds unless you really need it. Let me know if anything gets infected.” 

“Yeah, ok. I mean, I don’t plan on talking to you for the next few days, but you always try to ruin my plans anyway,” Chuuya says, sulking. 

Before Mori has a chance to respond, Dazai gets up. “Paperwork is done so Chuuya and I can go home.” 

Mori looks over it. “Alright, go ahead. Take tomorrow off too. Come back ready to do more work the day after.” 

“Whatever you say, boss,” Dazai replies. 

“I’m going to sleep through tomorrow. I know Kouyou wants to see me, but I don’t care. I’m just not going to exist tomorrow. Do you wanna come to my apartment with me?” he randomly asks, turning to Dazai. 

“I mean, I don’t have anywhere else to go. Odasaku’s God knows where and Ango left an hour ago for some out of town meeting. Since nobody seems to like my little shipping container house, I guess I’ll come with you,” Dazai answers. 

“Ew, of course no one likes that. Come on though, I want to get home as quickly as possible.” 

“Coming.” 

The two head back to Chuuya’s apartment to get some much needed rest.

[19zai]

When Shadows Close In

The evening sun shown through the Agency window, illuminating the desks and scattered papers. Dazai Osamu sat at his desk, absentmindedly spinning a pen between his fingers. Papers were strewn haphazard across the surface, mingling with half finished reports and a cold cup of coffee that had lost its warmth. The soft hum of conversations filled the air, punctuated by the rhythmic tapping of keyboards and the occasional laughter of his colleagues.

He glanced at the clock, it's hands ticking steadily, but the minutes felt stretched, taunting him with the knowledge that work would be over in about an hour. Dazai had a bet going on with Ranpo of how long he could sit at his desk, pretending to do work to get Kunikida of his back, before kunikida realized he hadn't done any work at all that day. Sweat dropped down his forehead, it was way to hot in the office in his opinion.

Dazai had one hour left of work to get through before he could win the bet. Most of the others had left earlier, done with their work. Only Dazai, Ranpo, Fukazawa, Yosano, and Kunikida were left. Not surprised. Dazai would have left, but then he would lose the bet, not that there was a prize, but he still wanted to be at the Greatest Detective Ranpo.

The clock continued to click, Dazai getting happier the longer Kunikida stays focused on his own work, and Ranpo himself was getting worried he may lose a bet. His first loss ever. Against Dazai of all people. Never.

Then, startling all of them, the Agency door loudly opened, as the one and only Port Mafia Leader walked in. He walked around as if he owned the place, the others still to stunned to speak. Who.. No why would he even be here in the first place? This is literally his enemy's work area. He couldn't have been that stupid.. Is he?

Either way, Mori continued his way to Fukazawa's office, who opens the door and shut it, muttering voices coming from inside. Even Ranpo hadn't expected that. No one had. He didn't even say a word, just walking in like that. They'll just have to keep their eyes on him, at all costs this time.

"Dazai. Come see me in my office." Fukazawa says, startling them all out of their overthinking transes. Mori still in his office as well.

Dazai froze. No. He could not go into the same room Mori was currently in. Never. His leads moved before his brain could react though, and his leads always followed orders, walking up to Fukazawa and walking into the room.

"I have filed a law against Mori, you see. I know what happens to Yosano in the Mafia, and will use that to my advantage. I somehow do not know of your side of the situation though, and If you could tell me it it, I can also use it against Mori, and possibly even take down the entire Mafia. We couldn't do it before, as he had something we needed, but now that we have it back... We can try to take them all down at once." Fukazawa explained.

Well.. that wasn't what Dazai was expecting, but it's better then being yelled at like he had assumed. He nods to Fukazawa and sits down on the chair next to the one Mori was in, quickly explaining what Mori and the Mafia did to him.

It was mostly about some missions he had been forced to do, what would happen afterwards if he failed. The tests and experiments Mori did on him so he would become so strong nothing could take him down. How because of Mori, he can no longer be poisoned and knows how to do many medical things. Of course also the fact that he was abused by him, though Dazai kept that part short.

Fukazawa accepted what Dazai said, or vaguely mentioned and sent him on his way. Things would have stayed fine, he would have gone back to his desk and continued the bet with Ranpo, Wich he still had around twenty-five minutes left to do so. If only things could ever be easy on Dazai.

As soon as he stood up, Mori had grabbed onto his arm, pulling him towards himself, and harshly grabbing his hair with the other, yaking him towards his face. " I'll kill you. I'll kill you and I'll kill Chuuya and you'll never see the end of it. I swear... I will win... And I will kill you and your stupid little ADA friends will die with you!" Mori shouted directly into his ear, so unlike his normal calm demeanor.

Fukazawa, seeing the interaction, grabbed Moris hands and forced him to let go, a bruise clearly made on Dazai's arm from his insane grip on him, his hair disheveled from his other hand yanking him by it.

Dazai ran out of the room as soon as his dirty hands we off of him, sobbing as he stepped our of the room. So many things had happened in those few seconds. The room felt stuffy as all eyes turned on him, his breathing catching in his throat as he struggles to breath.

Mori cam walking out of the room, a smirk on his face as he passed Dazai, slamming the door shut behind him.

Dazai falls to the ground, struggling to breath, scared out of his mind all though the thoughts, what HE had said, scared him more then he thought it would.

Yosano, Kunikida and Ranpo were distraught, worried for Dazai as he bursted out of the room in tears. Fukazawa and Mori leaving soon after and Fukazawa shouts and yells at Mori about how wrong he was, and how he would never lay a hand on anyone again.

Lay a hand on anyone ever again. The other detectives stood shook while Ranpo quickly explained what he had deducted. "Mori grabbed Dazai and told him some... Pretty horrible stuff." Ranpo quickly explained, basically running toward Dazai who sat on the ground, struggling to breath still.

Yosano and Kunikida, finally letting Ranpo's words sink in and getting extremely worried also rush towards Dazai.

"Hey! Hey! Deep breaths Dazai please. He can't hurt you, he won't ever touch you again. You won't even have to see him okay? Just call down, take a deep breath." Yosano exclaimed, trying to calm Dazai down while slowing her breathing to get dazai to copy her.

Dazai struggled, but with Kunikida and Ranpo holding his shoulder and hand gently, and Yosano calming and muttering reassurances, he began to calm down more, the tears stopped and a that was left were some sniffles and ragged breathing.

Fukazawa rushes back inside after almost throwing Mori out through the window but instead pushed him outside of the Agency's doors. His present was grounding.

"I-I'm okay. Sorry about that. I... Didn't know I'd react like that.. sorry." Dazai whispered, clearly still shaky.

"Don't apologize.. it wasn't your fault. It's that horrible idiots fault. No need to apologize. Just calm down." Kunikida reassured.

If someone were to say the four of them left after that to get ice cream and some snacks, you'd be correct. If someone said that Ranpo gave Dazai the benefit of the doubt on the bet, you'd also be correct. Ranpo was never going to forget the huge smile that crossed his face after saying that he won the bet. Dazai may never forget or forgive what happens, not they they blame him, but now he has friends and people he can trust with anything. They were definitely a lot closer together then before. I guess that's a good thing.